ritu

Finlandia

2012-01-31T21:02:00.001+02:00

Regardless of who you might vote for in the election in Finland (full disclosure: this particular flashmob was in support of Haavisto, though one might not be able to tell unless one waits until the veeery end...), this song and the feelings it evokes are pretty powerful. I often get goosebumps when I hear this song whether it is the orchestral version, the church hymn version or this one. A little more history on the song can be found here.

The year of running/endurance continues... I ran a test today (5x1000m with each 1000m progressively harder and the final lap at "maximal" effort - yes, I know I just skied 65km a few days ago). I hit my maximum heart rate, but my lactate levels stayed relatively low which is quite interesting for two reasons 1) I feel recovered from the weekend of skiing, but it is possible that my muscles were still "empty" 2) I have a skiing background and am used to producing lactate by using more of my muscle mass.

It will be easier to get some rest this week as temps are currently around -24C (-11F) and projected to hit -30C (-22F). It is BEAUTIFUL outside, but definitely cold. I think I will try to workout inside all week!

"ski hangover"

2012-01-30T19:38:00.000+02:00

A friend of mine suggested taking part in a pretty crazy event this weekend.... and I said "sure!". The end result was a satisfied, but rediculously tired skier... and a "ski hangover".

Kurun 24 Tunnin Hiihto (Kuru's 24 Hour Ski) started at noon on Saturday and ended at noon on Sunday. The team I skied with had 8 people... 5 of us skied the "whole" time while the other 3 skiers participated for a few hours each. The idea was to have one person from the team skiing on the 2.1km lighted ski trail for the entire 24 hours. The team goal was to ski 200 laps (a new record for them). In the beginning, and in the end, we skied in turns tagging off after each lap. During the night, we skied 2 laps tagging off with a partner so we could get a little more "rest" (i.e. put on something dry/warmer, crawl into sleeping bag, pass out for about 30min, wake up, get ready to ski again). The team skied a grand total of 200 laps (we reached the goal!! for a total of 420km) and I skied 30 of them (63km) plus one lap to "check the course" (grand total 65.1km).

The conditions were pretty rough for skiing. The warmest temperature was about -15C (5F) and got down to -22C (-8F) which means that the snow was cold and abrasive and the body never really got warm, but it sure got cold! The course was more or less a 1km gradual uphill followed by a 1km gradual downhill, so one can imagine how that felt! Nonetheless, we had a skier skiing for 24 hours and were all adequately tired (but still smiling and satisfied) by the end.

Apparently fueling one's body for a 24 hour event is not so easy... thus the "ski hangover". I have no idea how one is supposed to fuel and sleep/rest at the same time, so I just tried to eat complex and simple carbs in combination (and of course there was some protein too) while drinking fluids the whole time, but I am not sure I did it right since I had a headache by the end and fell asleep as soon as we hit the road for the 2 hour drive home. At home I grabbed dinner, plopped on the couch, and fell asleep for another 2 hours or so... and then I went to bed early. Huh.... what an experience! Definitely challenging and fun, but not something that I would do again right away. =)

Tonight I am content to sit on the couch, watch some TV and go to bed early again! (besides that, it is -20C (-4F)) so it is nice to be curled up on the couch under a fleece blanket anyway!

"paralysis through analysis"

2012-01-25T16:02:00.002+02:00

Ever heard of "paralysisthrough analysis"? It is good to think about what you do, but thinking toomuch can be... paralyzing. I am guilty of it (I am a researcher... go figure)but I am also realizing the importance of "just doing it". Going outand trying without thinking too much. It's the throwing yourself into anunsuspecting snow bank or lake, jumping in puddles in the springtime. It isgrabbing a new spice and throwing it into the pot.... Sometimes doing things"by the book" works, sometimes it doesn't. Creativity and spontaneityhave value (and you might learn something new)!

I have watched coaches,teachers, professors, etc explain, analyze and tweak things practiceafter practice with and without success. Some of them are trying to preventproblems, some of them are trying to correct problems, some of them are justveeery analytical people. I get it. That is what we do. I am, however, remindedof some of my coaches from high school. We (athletes) used to be sent out for aworkout with the words "Go ski." or "Go run." or maybeeven "See you in an hour.".

Someone may think that is thesign of a lazy coach, but sometimes "just doing" yields the mostproductive of workouts. When you "go ski" with your buddies, you endup playing with technique balance, speed... you learn from skiing behind them,in front of them, beside them... If you are skiing alone using the "goski" idea, you go out and feel the gliding over the snow and cold air onyour face, hear your breath and the crunching from your poles, see thewoods/trail and maybe even smell the wood smoke (if we get real poetic). If you"go run", you are given the freedom of picking your own trail. Flat,hilly, hard surface, soft surface...we used to play follow the leader and findourselves climbing fences, hopping across train tracks, running obstaclecourses through playgrounds. There were times we would run through streams andmud, across corn fields, through downtown, by the zoo, up stairs, along theriver, over bridges, under bridges.... It was excellent training. We were learning the wholetime while developing neruomuscular and cardiovscular systems... and the "bizarre" thing is that we were not actually "beingcoached". We were feeling where to put our feet , feeling how to breathe.... magic.

Asmuch as I like analyzing technique and coaching... sometimes it is just betterto throw yourself into a ski or run and simply listen to the way your body"feels". Don't think about forward, backward, toes, heels, hips....Just let yourself ski. Just let yourself run. Think "primal",natural, free. Technique is valuable to learn and can help with preventingoveruse injuries and making an individual more economical, but even the bestdon't JUST do drills analyze every step of a workout. I amall about learning technique and periodically going back to the basics, but I believethat the finesse and beauty of endurance sport may be achieved and understoodbetter through sometimes just going out and doing it.

hit the ground running

2012-01-22T23:38:00.001+02:00

I am beginning to think that 2012 is going to be the year of running or the year of endurance... or some variation on those themes. I am back at work.. which maybe should be written: I am BACK at work. I have previously written that motivation ebs and flows, about stress being high or low, about how staring at excel and PASW (or sitting at a computer all day) might not really be "my thing".... all of which is true, but something about 2012 feels different....

Last week was solid:
* I re-submitted an article that was rejected (unfairly in my opinion, but I will not get into that....let's just say that politics are part of science too). My boss and I did some minor editing of the article and it is even better than before, so maybe the rejection was a blessing in disguise.
* With that article going off into the wide world of peer-review, I'm on to the next set of articles. I have lots of data that I am analyzing and looking at from a number of angles and I hope to be back to the writing (rather than pondering excel and PASW) within a few weeks.
* The beginning of the year means it is time to write more applications for funding. I got a handful of applications prepared for a quick review and signatures. Here's hoping that at least one of them will yield something... I've been fishing a lot and would like to see some fish!
* I am starting something new. It is not entirely new in that it comes from a hobby/hobbies that I have previously had, but it will bring me in a new direction and I am excited.
*Skied on Wednesday and Saturday, have gotten in some strength and light running... I hope my body can tolerate more activity this year!

* I voted! Today was another example of how every vote counts, so whether you are in Finland or in the USA, be informed and vote if you can!!!

jet-lag...

2012-01-14T08:24:00.000+02:00

Ufff. The jet-lag from this trip goes into the books as some of the weirdest ever. Typically I arrive pretty late (10pm- 1am) home after traveling eastward over the Atlantic, I take a shower, eat something and crash for the next 10-12 hours, get up and go, go, GO! This time, I got home at around 4pm, took a shower, ate something, curled up on the couch to watch some TV (good plan for staying awake..? No, not really...) and promptly fell asleep. I even had the Finnish presidential debate on (which should be interesting)! I woke up around 10pm, and decided it was time to go to bed. Then I woke up a 4am... 6am... 8am... and finally was conscious enough to DO something at about 9. My Friday was relatively productive considering the brain-body-time disconnect. Had a good chat with my boss and got the ball rolling on 2012. This weekend includes unpacking and re-arranging, reading 3 student reports (2 of which are re-dos and 1 of which is just ridiculously late...), editing an article for a northern colleague AND revising an article of my own for submission. I thought a Thursday night arrival was a strategic move! I planned to check in on Friday, adjust over the weekend and hit the ground running on Monday. I should have known...

Here's to coffee!

Oh, and did I mention we have SNOOOOOOW here? =)

2012 (a few days late)

2012-01-11T07:44:00.001+02:00

Happy New Year!

This has got to be one of the strangest "winters" ever. Since when are temperatures topping 45F (7C) "acceptable" in Minnesota in JANUARY?! No snow, very dry air, and sunshine every day... I'll take the sun, but having only skied a handful of times during my visit (on man made stuff) and having not picked up a shovel once (there is simply nothing to shovel).... my brain and my body are admittedly confused. What's up mother nature? Why the anomaly? My immune system seems to be more confused than ever with this "climate change". Going from dark, damp and snow (kinda) to bright, dry and no snow mixed with with the time change and exposure to a million germs through airport travel... as well as the typical dietary differences between eating out more often (when visiting with friends here in MN) makes for an interesting combo. I love visiting. I love travel.... but having a routine and weather that you are accustomed to helps to keep things in balance. I guess shaking things up a little bit is ok though, gotta do it some time!

So here we are, it is 2012. The question of the year appears to be "when do you graduate?" with a side of "will you be moving back to the US?". I have one answer for both questions: I don't know. If I have not alluded to it before, the idea is to graduate by the end of this year. It is possible and maybe even probable with a little hard work (and some luck). One never knows what the review process for articles will bring though... it can take a month or a year! Either way, I'll be heading back to Finland tomorrow and will hit the ground running. There are a number of grant applications due at the end of the month, some article revision and new article writing to start. The "to do" list is waiting :) I am thankful that when buying tickets I thought ahead and will only have one work day followed by a weekend to get things organized and to adjust to the time-change rather than trying to take on a full work week right away. Previously I have flown out on Saturday, arrived Sunday evening and hauled myself off to work on Monday morning... but I think I am getting "too old" for that (or maybe now I just know that it is inefficient).
As for what happens after graduation... we'll have to wait and see. The options are plentiful, but I have quite a bit of trail ahead of me before I really start examining that... so don't ask me until November or something.

Plan for 2012:
* acquire new/different coaching perspectives
* learn more about food, flavors and cooking (trying to eat more local and less processed foods)
* run more (ski more if there is snow)
* keep up with kettle bells
* practice yoga more
* go somewhere

size and distance

2011-12-12T15:26:00.002+02:00

The other day I was walking across campus, I passed the playground where there is a pile of snow that would attract any winter-loving child for climbing, sliding and/or fort building purposes. There were three little boys playing on said pile. One of them climbed up beside a large boulder-sized "chunk" of snow and shouted to his friends "I'm going to push this chunk down on top of you!!". One of the two boys hacking at the base of the pile with a plastic shovel (trying to make a fort?) replied "You can't push that chunk... it is AT LEAST 100 KILOS!!! That's HEAVY!" I glanced at the boys to see if there was actually any danger of "100 kilo" chunks of snow falling on anyone and satisfied that the "chunk" in question was quite large and very much attached to the rest of the pile, I continued on my way. Not more than two seconds later, I thought to myself that little boys in Minnesota play the same way.. but they would have yelled "You can't push that chunk... it is ATLEAST 100 POUNDS!!! That's HEAVY!". This "naturally" made me think 'I would rather take on a 100 pound (45.4kg) chunk of snow than a 100kilo (220.5lb) chunk of snow.... which then made me think about the possible difference in perception of size that people might have based on where they grow up and what unit of measure they have learned to use....

In terms of recording running or skiing distance, 'I ran 20km today' sounds somewhat more impressive than "I ran 12.4 miles today".... but in terms of weight, 'my maximal bench press is 121.3lbs' sounds somewhat more impressive than 'my max bench press is 55kgs'... of course most people would probably rather report their weight in kilos because it "sounds" smaller. Does use of different units of measure in Europe and the US affect the perception that we have about e.g. size, weight, distance??

I guess that thought was another stop on the bilingual/bicultural (or third culture) journey...

aaaand?

2011-12-10T18:21:00.001+02:00

Down to 5 hours and 16 min of daylight... AND WE GOT SNOW! It is pretty mushy and I don't have rock skis like I do in the US, so I am still hanging out with my running shoes and kettlebell (though the last two weeks of kettlebells has passed me by because of a board meeting and getting taken out by another nasty but short-lived, cold).

Busy times the next week....
- article submission (maybe, I hope!! but oh, so unlikely...)
- being a subject in two studies - one is validating a piece of equipment for a local (but very international) company by running, the other is one for a biomechanics project on walking (they just want me for my pretty muscles)
- coaching
- faculty Christmas party
- schmeetings...
- staring at excel and trying to write a sensible syntax that will take care of all my needs
- packing for Minnesota! (I hate packing...)

rain, rain, go away!

2011-11-25T22:11:00.001+02:00

Losing more daylight... getting more rain. We are down to 6 hours and 14 min of daylight... not that one would notice when thick clouds fill the sky and it rains... and rains... and rains. The sun has made some all too brief appearances which usually commence in me finding the nearest window and staring out at the brightness. I feel a bit like Frederick the mouse (in the book Frederick by Leo Lionni). All the other mice in the mouse colony thought Frederick was lazy, but he gathered the sun and the colors to share with the other mice when winter was at its worst. Not that I have been particularly lazy... but remembering the sun, or the light, when the daylight disappears is a good idea. Light helps to keep people less grumpy (no scientific citation for that one... this is just based on anecdotal evidence... less light = more fatigue = more grumpiness). I invested in a "happy lamp" (full spectrum light) during the spring sales last year to help combat the seasonal "blahs". I never sit and gaze into its light (not recommended in the instructions), rather I use it when reading/knitting/writing and try to reap its reported benefits.It certainly helps me to stay more alert when reading... I guess I should get cozy with the lamp and read for the exams that I should take at the beginning of next year....

About not being particularly lazy... my next manuscript has caused quite a bit of discussion. I guess that is what happens when you examine combined strength and endurance training with "strength people" and "endurance people". One's background influences one's point of view and results can be examined in so many different ways regardless of the statistics that you use. I'm pleased that there has been a lot of discussion, but I am getting to the point where I think it needs to go to a reviewer or two for comments rather than being passed back and forth between colleagues (we could debate forever!). The goal is to submit before I hop on the plane(s) to Minnesota.

Enjoying kettlebells.
Trying to get things together for Chirstmas in Minnesota.
Taking a course on (bio)ethics.
Got a "special" task to translate Finnish "legaleeze" into English for some project.
Was recruited to run a maximal test next week.
Attending an international symposium next week.
Have a tonttu sitting on my TV and will put electric candles in the window on Sunday (that is the extent of my Christmas decorations as I am not actually here on Chirstmas).
Trying to think of a costume for our department's Christmas party...
Still coaching.
Praying for snow.
Missing the Nordic Opening at Ruka.
Thinking about making banana bread tomorrow.
Missing Thanksgiving pies and the people that go with them.

Heading to bed!

No snow...

2011-11-20T20:29:00.000+02:00

We are down to about 6 hours and 30 min of daylight now, there is no snow, and at least the next 10 days of the forecast do not look promising despite a weekend of colder temps. (rain and +5 next week). There were rumors that the snowguns would be turned on last night up up where the October skiing took place, but I am a bit skeptical.... even if snow is made this weekend, the chances of it surviving warm temps is not great. Good thing I am chummy with my running shoes, ski poles and kettlebell.

Here's something that would go into the "ski lessons" or coaching category:
Here is a coaching question for the ages: How does one train "right"? There are a million and one answers to this question and none of them are necessarily "right" or "wrong". Individuals respond to different kinds of training in different ways. This provides challenges for group coaches, but in many cases, if the group coach(es) plan diverse enough training (i.e. not doing the same thing at every. single. practice.) they can teach something to all of their athletes while also exposing their athletes to different methods of training that they may have not previously been familiar with. I think it is particularly important to plan diverse training when coaching a group of young athletes because their motor systems are still developing and they are still trying to make sense of how their bodies work (I guess we all are trying to make sense of how our bodies work though...).

As someone who researches training adaptations, I get frustrated watching subjects who are not benefiting from the training protocol we are working with. The researcher in me says 'keep working, it is natural to have responders and non-responders... and besides I need to keep as many subjects as possible in my data set'. The coach in me gets flustered and thinks 'I should try something else so this subject can improve!!'. I guess that is why my studies involve science and coaching.

In terms of learning technique, I think there are some basics that should be remembered whatever and whenever you are teaching. The basics of technique do not change overnight. Each athlete has their own personal technique or style that works for their own body type, size and strength, but the basics are the foundation. The basics are what we should work on with young athletes... and every coach teaching the basics should actually know the basics and be able to explain why they are the foundation for the ultimate goal of good technique (and hopefully injury-free and economical performance). I get frustrated working with or observing other coaches when they think of a "new" exercise or drill but cannot explain the exercise/drill and cannot explain what the exercise/drill is developing... especially when the drill "breaks" the basic "rules" of technique. I like innovation and new ideas but if one does not understand what one is doing, cannot explain it to one's athletes and cannot explain it to one's fellow coaches... is there really any value in the exercise?

As a coach, I ask questions to understand, to develop into a more knowledgeable individual. I have my own ideas for workouts/drills/exercises, but I am still developing new ideas and greater understanding and I hope that the coaches I work with now and in the future can help me develop that understanding by explaining that which is not familiar to me...

music

2011-11-19T20:58:00.000+02:00

Friday night, a friend and I went to a local bar/club that had live music. The band that played was called Captain Cougar and had some of the most interesting, unique and beautiful music I have heard in a while. Their music tells a story about the turn of the last century - war in Finland and immigration to the US (Minnesota is even part of the story!). The music tells of hardships, hopes and dreams. I find myself identifying with the music. I have not experienced the war, but in a way, I am an immigrant.... check them out!

sNOw, cast iron, ice

2011-11-02T20:31:00.003+02:00

sNOw
Our loop of snow is gone... in the sense that it is not exactly skiable... rather it is a mushy and muddy mess. I guess that's what happens when you spread it out in mid-October when mother nature has not even thought about freezing temps for the autumn. It was fun while it lasted, and should we get some temps below freezing, it can be revived... but the situation does not look promising right now. Even the popular early season skiing spots north of here are living on whatever was stored under piles of sawdust from last year.

strength
Kettlebells are my new strength training method of choice. The gym is fine, but who wants to wait for a bench? As an endurance athlete you hardly ever have to wait for your turn on the trail and if the road you are going to run on is blocked off you can just as easily go the other way... or bushwhack. With strength training in a gym, it is inevitable that some days you have to wait to use the equipment that you want to or that you have to modify your workout because the junior hockey boys are having their training session at the same time... and sometimes after the junior hockey boys have finished up, the equipment is all sorts of sweaty (and how often does an endurance athlete have to deal with the sweaty equipment of someone else? I'd venture to guess that the most common encounter with your fellow endurance athletes' sweat comes when removing bibs and timing chips at the finish line. Then again, if you are the treadmill or stationary bike type, it is another story. The gym in college had the wipe your equipment after use rule, the gym here does not...) Anyway, kettlebell training combines strength and endurance. The instructor for the group I train with is excellent and happens to be the friendly neighborhood cafe owner. A little while back while grabbing lunch at the cafe, he mentioned that he lead a group on Monday evenings in the parking lot in front of the cafe and that I should try it out sometime (and having just bought a kettle bell, I thought 'why not?'). Turns out the group is BIG and there are people of all ages and abilities. The instructor just wants to get people moving. He starts on time, every time, gives brief instructions on the movements before each "set" and goes to correct the major errors in technique if he catches someone struggling. Otherwise, everyone goes at their own pace, with their own weight.... which I think is brilliant. So many training groups and gyms where you need a membership are intimidating to people, but this instructor has gotten people involved from so many places and so many different backgrounds that I cannot help to be impressed. I know a few others with that ability and I applaud them. What an excellent way to make a positive impact on your own community's health and fitness! (and one of the best parts is that this guy promised me that rain, sleet, snow or shine there would be a session... I am waiting to see how attendance is then.... and how well a kettlebell stays in hand when wearing mittens!)

figure skating
I was one of those little girls who wanted to be a figure skater. I learned to skate forwards and backwards and that's about it. sooo.... fast forward to Monday of this week. One of my colleagues called me to ask if I would sign up for the university figure skating course. They need one more person in the group for it to happen and since I sometimes come skate during the free skate times, maybe I would be interested too? I figured (hehe... sorry...) that it might be fun, and after yesterday's lesson, I still think it is fun, but it ain't pretty on my part and I have bruises to prove it. Our instructor had us JUMPING yesterday.. and not just forwards, but backwards and with turns!! My motor system is hardwired for going forwards (skiing, running, biking, always forwards) so this was a bit hard for me. It reminded me of having to learn how to do two footed hops all over again in high school (embarrassing). Rumor has it that we are skating with music during the fourth and final lesson. yikes =)

motivation

2011-10-28T23:58:00.002+03:00

Motivation ebs and flows. In academics, in athletics, in most everything.

In coaching:
A coach should motivate. One of my "best" or "favorite" coaches was an assistant on my high school team. This was a coach that had a "can do" attitude. No weather condition, no challenge in scheduling, no competitor could get in the way of the positive and motivating attitude displayed. At races, rather than just yelling "go!!" or "looking good!", this coach would shout things like "I believe in you!" I KNOW you can do this". This same attitude was used in practices if we were working on technique, running to improve our endurance or working on our strength. This was a coach that truly believed in us... even when we might not have believed in ourselves.

The beauty of having this motivating coach around telling us that we could do anything we set our minds to, was that we developed as a team. We adopted the attitude that our coach was exemplifying. We believed in ourselves and wanted to do our best. We were motivated and it showed in our results.

In a contrasting situation I have worked with a coach who has starting a training session with "I planned this, but it is probably too hard for you" and "the conditions are a bit challenging" (and at that time of year, if anyone complains about conditions not being perfect they are fighting mother nature and common sense). I was shocked to hear a training session started with this type of attitude. First of all, the original plan for training was not too hard for the individuals we were working with. Not that the plan was suuuper easy, but it was practicing a skill that all of the individuals have practiced before that is worth practicing even if you are an elite skier. Second, the conditions were really not challenging. Snow is slippery, ski trails may have some ice. It does not matter what time of year you ski, "perfect" conditions are always a question of opinion... but if a young skier who wants to race cannot handle a bit of ice on a ski trail, they will encounter some serious problems at some point in their skiing career. Ice happens in the winter.

My problem with starting a training session by telling a young athlete what they cannot do is that, as a coach, you are setting a negative tone. Some young people might think "I will prove you wrong" but for others it plants the seed of "I cannot do it" into their head... and that can be a toxic plant. This is not to say that one should not be realistic when coaching, but I prefer telling kids what they CAN do, rather than what they cannot do.

In academics:
I am still on the road. The University has modified study plans so I will be forced to (yes, again) make some modifications to my study plan. One of the good things that may come of this is that the wheels may be set rolling on a new adventure... which keep me motivated to keep moving despite the gloomy weather.

SNOW!!

2011-10-17T23:16:00.003+03:00

There's a hole! ...where there used to be snow.... covered by sawdust, hiding from the heat of the summer.

Now there is a ski track. With uphills and downhills:

and happy skiers:

Skiing in October in the SUNSHINE =)

seasons

2011-10-04T23:48:00.001+03:00

We're heading deeper into autumn. The colors on the walk to the office range from a dull green to fire red with a smattering of yellows and oranges and browns to even things out. It has been pretty wet most days, but the sun has made regular appearances, which has been nice.

Random: My nickname is sanskrit for "season" (there are 6 ritus in the Hindu calendar). Never knew that. Thank you google.

School/work: I am submitting one of the manuscripts that I have been working on now. It will probably take a few more days before all of the pieces come together (the journal I am submitting to requires a four-page form to be filled out be each co-author among other forms and submission requirements...uff.).

The second manuscript is in the hands of my boss at this point - the discussion is currently in an outline format, but will *hopefully* be deemed "ok" in order for me to polish it off and submit it before too long. I did go back and re-do all of the statistics because I saw that looking at the data from a different perspective would "tell the story" better. Probably a smart move, but it kind of derails the plan I had for its completion (and I am admittedly a little jaded by staring at Excel and PASW...)

There is construction going on near my office (expansion of that institute next door). The banging is pretty annoying because you can feel it in your body. The first day the banging was close and loud enough to bother concentration (and it left me feeling tense at the end of the day). Now the work is inching away and the noise/feeling are less intense. I can't say I am a fan though. I'm excited for the expansion, but extra noise is not nice.

On Monday the construction made it hard to concentrate, but without it, the whole concentration bit was not working very well anyway. A new student from another department came to ask me for help with the copy machine 4 times - she does not speak Finnish, the touch screen is in Finnish and the settings for the key card she was using were strange. Her copies kept coming out in the wrong size or orientated so that half the text was missing... not sure how she managed that (and as I could find nothing wrong in the settings, positioning on the glass was all that I could really help with). I like helping, but being copy machine support is not my strength.

Being lazy: This cold goes down in the books as one of the worst ever. I *think* it may finally be on the way out, but I have thought that a number of times in the past few weeks. It just keeps hanging on, at times getting worse, at times getting better. I have tried a number of different methods to get rid of it (rest, sauna, more rest, light exercise, rest, harder exercise, loooots of fluids, nasal spray, neti pot, tea, echinacea and other herby/natural remedies, rest, gargling with salt water, more rest), but nothing has destroyed it. I guess the local newspaper was right when it reported that this year's fall-flu/cold can last for months. What a drag. Maybe I should try chicken soup? (the rest is boring - I need physical activity too!)

The athlete's path?

2011-10-01T21:58:00.002+03:00

Back to this coaching part of things for a post...The "big thing" in coaching in Finland these days seems to be "the athlete's path". How do we develop elite athletes? How do we help a young person develop as an athlete? What path should an athlete (and coach) follow?

The way I see it, whether the individual is going for an Olympic medal or just working out for their health, a "path" is a good idea. Bushwhacking is fun and sometimes results in finding treasures (bear with me, I am getting a bit philosophical/illustrative here), but a path allows for "smoother" travel. There might be places to stop and look back or forwards. There are more clear peaks and valleys. There are forks, turns and switchbacks.If the path is "on a map" (for example, a training plan), it is easier to follow... it is even easier to follow if you can identify places to stop and check the map and the direction in which you are going (fitness testing), places to rest (cabins, camping sites), challenges (climbs, steep downhills, swamps...), easier parts (meadows, lake shores). It is easier to navigate if you have a trusty compass (coach) and maybe a flashlight or headlamp (other experts/practitioners on the way).

A path is difficult to clear and navigate alone. Within a ski club (for example) I think it is important that there is some sort of path for a young skier to follow. Not every skier needs to follow the same path, but some continuity or familiarity along the way is likely to make the journey a little easier. In terms of something like fitness testing, I think it is good to have similar testing/testing concepts for junior and senior athletes, especially if the athlete is looking to develop within the same club and there are changes in coaches along the way. If the same testing concepts are used in the club, a coach can see where the athlete is coming from more easily if there is some documentation. The athlete him/herself is also better able to see where he/she is coming from and where he/she is going if the same types of tests are used.

The bottom line is that within a club, it is easier to develop an athlete if everyone is traveling in the same direction (cooperating) rather than trying to make things more complicated than they need to be.

the language "thing"

2011-09-24T23:21:00.002+03:00

Language is an essential part of communicating ideas. Body language, written language, spoken language, cultural language... among others. I use multiple languages every day....in multiple languages.

Which can be a challenge.

I think my combination of Finnish, English (and dare I say Swedish) might throw people for a loop sometimes. If they do not "speak my language," I suspect that they may sometimes be confused... in fact, sometimes I know they are confused. Sometimes actions (or inactions) that are somehow related to these "different" languages can be misinterpreted... especially when the languages are mixed.

Google translate works for the written language to a certain extent, but slang and colloquial expressions do not alway get translated so clearly. Cultural and personal nuances are not "translated" so easily either.

Something to think about.

*The kettlebell workout was good... but bad timing. I guess my cold wasn't gone. Wednesday I found out that I have a sinus infection. Now I am on 100% rest until I kick this thing. Ugh.

sticky

2011-09-20T22:29:00.000+03:00

as in sticking...

This cold is STILL hanging on. It isn't suuuper bad, but I am still coughing enough for it to be annoying. I must have gotten the long-lasting bug that is going around the community. Bummer. :(

Endurance training does not feel good right now (aside from biking with a low heart rate), but strength training is ok. I did kettlebells on Monday in the parking lot of the cafe down the road (the instructor is the cafe owner) - it was excellent! Apparently he plans on having the courses year round. Same time, same place and for a reasonable price. I asked if he would really do it when snow flies (just checking) and he replied "you ski when it is cold, why not kettlebells!?". I like the idea, the workout was effective... and fun!

If you can't ski...

2011-09-13T22:39:00.000+03:00

Since the cold I got was so bad, I skipped the weekend ski camp (hanging out in a tunnel while sick is not a good idea, and I am firmly against training and showing the kids you coach that training while sick is "ok") and headed to the cabin for a good sauna, fresh air and peaceful surroundings. The sun was shining when I got there, and the last of the summer's flowers were in bloom:

Broccoli!

This flower is not exactly alive anymore...

Autumn is here.

PhD Music

2011-09-12T14:05:00.002+03:00

A few weeks ago we went on a "field trip" with the department.. which meant a few hours on the bus together. Along with some other PhD students, we came up with songs that describe life as PhD student and made a mix CD for the ride. I thought I would share it here:

LIBI LAULUT 2011 ~ Life of a PhD Student

I like to move it (Ollaan liikuntalaisiakaikki! We are all in the sport faculty! Clearly we like to MOVE IT!!!) Reel 2Real

Workinlike a dog (Enoughsaid..) Trooper

9 to 5 ("It’s enough to drive you crazy if you letit." Ironic considering how few of us work 9 to 5....) Dolly Parton

Rusketusraidat ( Translation: "tan lines" - this song is supposed to allude to how in our studies our subjects are often in shorts... or less. We see lots of tan lines (for Finland). Part of the chorus is: ”Helvetin hyvin menee!!” It is going "hellishly" well!!) PMMP

No Stress (Noooooo.Never.) Laurent Wolf

Ironic (It’s in the title... one should note that there is a story in the order of the songs on this CD too...) Alanis Morissette

Mun kotiei oo täällä (Translation: My home is not here. After along day of doing measurements or analysis, we all think this in our heads… andsometimes out loud…) Chisu

Maailmantoisella puolen (Tranlation: On the other side of the world. A songfor international and otherwise traveling PhD students, and a chart topper this past summer.) HallooHelsinki

Rough boy (LIBI pojille… ♥ - for the boys in our department.) ZZ-top

Heartbeat (For anyone who does cardiovascular measurements…or has felt their heart ♥ beating in their chest due to excitement (jihuu!! good results!!!), stress (when equipment goes “POKS!”) or too much coffee…) Enrique Iglesias

A little less conversation (Have you been in a loooong meeting or ended upexplaining something to anyone for the 7^th time…?) Elvis

You keepme hangin on (Ode toboth the supervisors and the thesis "Cause you don't really love me/ You just keep me hangin' on" ) TheSupremes

(I can’tget no) satisfaction (For the perfectionistin all of us. Yes, all of us.) RollingStone

Ihmisenpyörä (“Puhu mitä puhut mut juoksemistaälä lopeta!” Say what you want to say, but don't stop running! Endurance?)Happoradio

Raiseyour glass("So if you're too SCHOOL for cool/ And you're treated like a fool / Youcan choose to let it go / We can always, we can always party on our own!")Pink

These songs did not make it on the CD, but were good suggestions:

I’m aslave for you (Just listento it.) Britney Spears

Matkalaulu(bussimusaa....a song for traveling) PMMP

Levottomat jalat ("restless legs") Hassisen kone

F-f-f-falling Rasmus

Pomppufiilis Munamies

Häissä (”Mäoon öissä töissä, en missää myymälöissä.” I work nights, not in a shop.) Jare&VilleGalle:

Tässä elämä on (This is life) PMMP

Russian Roulette (uhoh...) Rihanna

She WorksHard for the Money DonnaSummer

Let's getphysical OliviaNewtonjohn

Don't letme down (In thetitle) Beatles

Edit Regina Spektor ("You can write, but you can't edit!”)

"upgradeyour grey matter, 'cause some day it may matter...” Deltron 3030

It’s afire Portishead (but it’sjust depressing…)

Running...sick?

2011-09-04T22:49:00.002+03:00

Well toe the line I did! The half marathon wasn't great, but it wasn't horrible either. I knew upon waking up that I wasn't going to have an awesome race. All week I have been a bit tired and Saturday morning was no different. I gathered my gear together and put on my heart rate monitor before plopping on the couch to keep resting before the race... and my heart rate monitor died (bad sign??). I walked to the city center to jump on the bus to the race start and picked up a new battery on the way.

The weather was perfect for racing. Cool, slight breeze and the sun was peaking out from behind the clouds. I started out at the pace I figured I could maintain for the race, but by 3km my stomach decided it wouldn't cooperate. The next 16km were "survival". Just putting one foot in front of the other and doing the best I could as my stomach cramped. It let up enough in the final 2km of the race or so so I was able to finish relatively strong, but my average heart rate was well below what it has previously been when I have run that distance and my stomach still hurt afterwards.

Considering the past year of training (or lack thereof) I should be pumped that I can run a half marathon in less than 1 hour and 45 min, but knowing that my lungs and my legs were not the deciding factor of this race makes it a bit of a disappointment. Oh well. Not every race can be amazing and the body doesn't always cooperate.

I suppose it shouldn't be a surprise that in the evening I started to get classic cold symptoms.. and upon waking up today, I had a full-blown cold/flu. Guess I had it coming before the race!

august

2011-08-31T22:23:00.004+03:00

august

The month of August has slipped past quickly. Vacations are over and the rhythm of a new school year has begun to beat steadily at the University and in the surrounding community. The walk to work is no longer so quiet with children going to school again, students making their way to class and others making their way to work. The summer silence has faded into sound. The labs are filling with projects, the cafeterias with hungry students, the hallways and doorways with chatter, questions and laughter. Tomorrow we meet new students (and size them up?). The summer sun has weakened and clouds have gathered for cooler temperatures and rain. The running weather is fabulous and jumping in the lake is just shy of a no-go without a sauna close by. The nights are darker, the landscape more colorful. Autumn must be here.

articles ~ that PhD thing

Article writing is going reasonable well. I have one manuscript sent to co-authors for comments. This is the part of the writing process that is probably the most interesting and fun. After working on an article, one sometimes becomes blind to some details or, after analyzing for a long period of time, one might not examine "every" perspective. Co-authors (good ones anyway) notice the occasional silly mistake, point out that you did not explain something in detail that you should have (since you've done it in your head a million times and don't realize it is not on paper) and give you suggestions to "beef up" your arguments/assertions/explanations.

A second manuscript is well on its way to completion, but I might have to take a few steps back and look at my data from a different perspective to see if I have "the whole story". I feel like something is missing... but maybe that is the story?

I looked at "the plan" for the next year or so with my boss a bit ago. It has some specific goals in terms of what congresses/conferences I should attend and what classes I should take this autumn... and one big, specific (but not perfectly defined) one... I have my work cut out for me!

The new year brings new students including new PhD students. It is strange to be one of the more "experienced" PhD students now, and to have the new ones asking questions about EVERYTHING. Watching their excited stress makes me want to sit them down to tell them to take a deep breath, to remember to eat lunch and sleep at night.... not that I ever listened to those that went before me...

painting

You paint? I paint? Paint? Sometimes a brush ends up in my hand. Who knew?

for a friend's birthday

experimenting with texture... not that you can tell.

this one didn't use a brush much - i felt like blotting...

this is almost a "print" too

(if anyone can guess what material I used for this "print" I'll bake him/her a cake!!)

sports/coaching

I bought a kettlebell. I like the gym and I hate the gym, so I figured having a kettlebell at home might get me to do strength more. I have had it 3 days and done something with it or at the gym, for 2 days (good record so far!). Today I was coaching - we were at the gym teaching our kids some basic weight training (and did some body weight stuff too). I ended up having a little competition with one of the other coaches (a guy) because I did 15 reps with 35kg per request of a third coach (I think the point was to show our teenage boys that petite women may actually be stronger than them...). At any rate, this was followed by something like 10 reps at 40 kg (still proving a point?) and 1 rep at 50kg (I may have been able to get another one, but I started laughing...bummer). Not too bad for not getting to the gym so often!

Coaching continues to be fun and rewarding. Having worked with the same group for a year and a half now, I am starting to know and understand how they work as individuals and as a group. It is fun to watch them develop as young adults as well as athletes (thank goodness they are so well-behaved even if they are a bit moody!!).

I'm returning to competition this coming Saturday. I haven't competed since May of 2010 due to "illness, insult and injury" during the summer, autumn and beginning of 2011. Little by little though, I have been able to build up my base again and have gotten in something like 5 or 6 "long" runs of 15 to 18km. I also biked to and from the cabin a few times this summer, so I decided that I'd toe the line at the Finlandia 1/2 marathon again. This race has always been one that I have done for fun and this year will be no different. I'm just looking forward to running with a number on again!

Back to the grind

2011-08-08T10:51:00.002+03:00

Well that was probably the fastest first week after vacation ever! I had a very productive-feeling week. My next article is pretty close to ready (#1 for the PhD thesis) and I got almost all of the statistics done for the next one as well. Jihuu! Half the dept. is still on vacation and the students have not yet shown up... I'm betting there is a correlation between productivity and # of people in the dept. Then again, sometimes you NEED those other people to get things done. So yes, I will admit that I will be happy when they return next week.

Vacation was nice. My siblings, sibling-in-law, mom (surprise!) and Finnish cousins were around as well as some of the aunts and uncles. Sauna, sun and relaxation (ok and sport) were the main priorities. I also made a quick trip to Helsinki, saw a good friend (for all to brief a period of time), went to the Ateneum to see an exhibit called "Lapin Taika" and some of the other older artwork by Finnish artists (like Akseli Gallen-Kallela, Albert Edefelt and Hugo Simberg). Somehow, I really felt some of these paintings. Seeing them "live" was... I can almost say... a moving experience. Each brush-stroke tells a story.

In Helsinki, I also "discovered" spectrolite. It is a gemstone that is found only in Finland and is one of the most beautiful stones I think I have ever seen (some agates from Lake Superior are in the same category). There is a silversmith that sells her work in the market in Helsinki harbor that I visit every year (some really nice work) and this year I noticed the spectrolite necklaces...

The fall will bring a few hours of teaching, more article writing, a small grant or two (modified off of original plans) and some coursework as well as coaching. What a simple looking list in comparison to those I have made in recent years!

I guess this means onward and upward!

VACATION!

2011-07-24T11:38:00.000+03:00

Vacation. I have a vacation! This time it is not the "write an abstract" vacation, or a "plan a huge research project by your lonesome since everyone else is on vacation" vacation or a "keep in touch with people at work while you are abroad" vacation. Nope. Not a "think about that grant application" vacation or a "write that article" vacation. It is a vacation! My siblings (and sibling in-law) came to visit, my mom came for a surprise visit, I have gotten to hang out with my cousins and their kidlets (kidlings)... and considering these are the people I get to see the least, it is the best part of vacation for me.

There has been mökki and sauna, summer theater, live music, grabbing a drink at the pub, competition amongst the relatives, yard work, biking, running, swimming, knitting, reading, sleeping in, staying up late and some shopping. No statistics, no writing articles, no lesson planning or secretarial stuff. I only check my email once a day to delete the unnecessary stuff and to check to see if there is anything "urgent".

................

The tragedy in Oslo has put a bit of a damper on my vacation. I am shaken. I have walked in that area of Oslo, been to a congress that was held just a couple blocks away and will likely be attending another congress in Oslo next year. Oslo (in part because of my cousin, and in part because of Holmenkollen and skiing) has a place in my heart that makes this atrocity hit closer to home. It is a beautiful city, the hospitality there at the congress and while at Holmenkollen was very warm. Things like this "don't happen" in the Nordic countries... but apparently they do. It shouldn't happen here, it should not happen anywhere....

My thoughts and prayers are with the people affected by this unthinkable act of violence. The flags in Finland today are flying at half-staff. Someone wrote on facebook that "On a day like this it is again important to remember that actions like this are not performed by race or skin color, by states or continents, but of individuals and groups that have lost focus on the importance of the World: Unity, caring, understanding, empathy and love .. " I lit a candle last night... and will light one tonight as well.

Summer + coaching

2011-07-07T14:50:00.001+03:00

*Summer and almost time for vacation! This year, I plan on taking vacation seriously. I'll still coach, but I'm going to leave this article that I have *almost* finished writing and the other one that I have just started alone for a while. Perhaps some rest will make them better too.

**Mixing languages ~ perhaps this "international" life of mine has casued some wires to crossed in my head. Sometimes when I open my mouth to say something, I find that the thought is in one language and what comes out of my mouth is in another. When this happens I typically have to stop for a moment to get the neurons to "fire in the same language". Strange.

***Coaching: I was recently asked why I "an educated person" am coaching a skier who may or may not ever be "good" on a national level. I coach her because I can encourage her. I coach her because I can teach her something. I coach her because I can be a good influence. I coach her because maybe, just maybe, I can help her to love sport and gain from it as much as I have. I coach her so that maybe 20 years from now she will look back fondly and decide to teach her kids to ski. I coach her because I remember how much it meant to have a coach that cared.

It's not just about winning medals and gaining some sort of recognition for being "good". The truth is that most of us will never stand on top of an Olympic or World podium. That's not what skiing is about. That is not what coaching is about. It's about teaching and encouraging a young person to try. To believe in something, to set goals and work towards them. I remember not too very long ago when I was told that I would never be "good" because I was already too old/missing some of the "right" characteristics. So I never became a National or World Champion, but I sure loved to ski. I loved my team and my teammates. As part of that team, I became a better skier and a better person. I helped my teammates, promoted a positive environment, taught younger skiers a thing or two and would even venture to say that I helped them reach some of their goals. I was the best skier I could be. I put my heart into it and while there were diappointments along the way, there were lessons learned.

I'm coaching in hopes that I can influence some young person to love sport. To live a healthy lifestyle. To learn how to set goals and work towards them. If medals come along the way, great. If smiles, a love of sport and fond memories are the "only" rewards, I am more than satisfied. I have done my job.

Mika Myllylä

2011-07-06T01:06:00.005+03:00

The news today after lunch made me sad: Finnish skiing legend Mika Myllylä was found dead in his home in Kokkola, Finland today (Tuesday, July 5, 2011) at around 11am Finnish time. Foul play is not suspected... He was 41 years old and is survived by his ex-wife and 3 children.

The Finnish ski community is shocked and saddened by this tragic news. Life for Myllylä was not easy after the scandal in Lahti. He was plagued with personal problems, including alcoholism, but tried many times to climb out of the hole. The newspapers report that being in the public eye was very tough on Myllylä. Neverthless, he is remembered as a skiing hero and a good-hearted man. The headlines and many quotes in the newspapers this evening tell of a tragic end that came too soon.

It is indeed a tragic end that came too soon. This guy hardly got a break post-Lahti. Yes, he was doping, he even admitted it... but he also apologized. He asked for forgiveness from the entire sporting community and his country... which is something rare, if not unheard of. Unfortunately, he never got away from the media, which published his personal problems on a regular basis - no wonder he kept struggling, a sensitive man's short-comings and problems published for the world to see... His cause of death is unknown for the time being... perhaps it was a mistake, perhaps it was on purpose, perhaps his heart decided that enough is enough. Whatever the cause, I don't think he is a bad man. There was an athlete, a man, that in interviews you could see had a heart. You could see he cared. You could see how his world crumbled in 2001.. and how the wounds never really healed.

Translated (roughly) from the online version of the Finnish newspaper Iltalehti:

Ski legend Mika Myllylä was found dead in his home in Kokkola on Tuesday.

Myllylä was on of Finland’s all-time most successful skiers.

Mika Myllylä’s ski career, however, collapsed during the doping scandal at the World Championships in Lahti in 2001 when Myllylä was caught using a plasma expander.

Following the scandal, Myllylä published a “testament” to Finland informint them that is career was over.

In his celebratory and emotional testament, Myllylä asks for forgiveness for his mistakes from Finns and the whole sport world.

Testament to Finland

This is a testament, that I never believed I would have to write. I have been confronted with deep sorrow. My heart is broken and my pain cannot be described with words. A large part of my world crumbled on 28.2.2001 when I, to my shock, heard that my doping test was positive at the World Championships in Lahti. The worst nightmare of my life had begun.

In my life, I have always strived to be responsible for my own actions and that, which happens, in my life. Now I will do the same. As an elite athlete, I should have investigated and been more knowledgeable about the substance that I received that lead to a positive doping test. Now I have to pay a hefty price for this huge mistake. In my head are a number of questions and however much I try to fight back, I cannot change what has happened.

I believe that it was God’s will that this would happen to me. From the bottom of my heart, I want to ask for forgiveness from the Finish people and the entire sporting community. At the same time, I would like to humbly thank everyone who has supported me over the years. You, next to my family, have helped me persevere. Now, if ever, support is needed.

Sport gave me a lot, it also took a lot. Now there is no hurry. The fight is over. It is time for a new life. Long ago, when I was a small boy and my foot sank into Tervaneva (a bog) for the first time, the biggest adventure of my life began, from which came an endless pain. I sank and rose, again and again. Thousands of liters of tears have now been “colored” with sorrow. From there, I also drew strength which I will use to cope with this obstacle.

Once again, I hear the quiet of Tervaneva’s mystical invite. Humbly, thankfully and alone I wander there again against the wind for the last time. I kneel, confess my defeat and ask for peace in my soul.

Haapajärvi March 6, 2001

Mika Myllylä

May you rest in peace Mika Myllylä...

Chick

2011-06-15T18:19:00.001+03:00

Previously I have written about "dumb jocks" , "not beating yourself up" and "women in academia" now I feel like returning to these subjects.

Telling folks that you study sport science evokes a range of responses... even if you have already done it for years. I guess the "sport" part of things makes folks think that you are playing and the "science" part of things makes you a nerd... perhaps the combination is confusing? Just a thought...

I have yet to find a "dumb jock" who has gotten all that far in this field, but I guess that also depends on the definition. Rather than knowing a whole bunch of dumb jocks, I have met all sorts of people, nice, rude, shy, outgoing, awkward, overly friendly... this field, like most others, attracts people of all sorts, which is generally a good thing. My field does, on the other hand, also seems to attract people with one common thing that ties people together (aside from the work). That "thing" is having some sort of background in sport... the background is either recreational or elite, coaching or spectating. There is always some sort of connection, which seems to result in quite a bit of "locker room" humor and analogies related to sport when discussing things in meetings. There is also a lot of competition (in the lab, in terms of number of publications, in leisure time). Competition is sometimes good, but I do not always like it (contrary to what some of my colleagues may think).

In terms of not beating yourself up and women in academia... I wonder if this will ever change? I see more women in academia beating themselves up than men. In fact, I have yet to see any of the men that I have worked with get down on themselves because an analysis is taking longer than expected, a subject didn't show up on time or because they have more work to complete than time in which to complete it. I sometimes wonder if this is because they are better at handling their work load or if us lady-folk have more work and I think it is usually the later. It seems that as a woman you are expected to multi-task whereas the guys are not. That is not to say that the guys sometimes get stressed, they just seem to be less likely to admit it.

In terms of being a woman in this field... I have found that while I have already earned a certain degree of respect through my work, it comes, in part, due to the fact that I choose to ignore some of the "locker room" comments/jokes and that I sometimes laugh at the jokes (because they are ridiculous) or throw in sarcastic comments of my own. It is a way to be "one of the guys" but I do wonder if that is right or wrong... or if laughing somehow supports ridiculous comments/jokes that may, in fact, be devaluing. I sometimes think of humor as being entirely benign, but maybe I am a bit disillusioned. I am on the fence about what I should put up with and what I shouldn't (if you say too much, you get labeled a whiner... and that is not good either), but I did open my mouth the other day when the guys in the department were joking that one of our PhD students (who happens to be smart AND a pretty blonde) got an award for best presentation at an annual meeting that a handful of us attended last week. The guys asked if the judges were all men and if that had any influence on the decision and I called them out on it. First of all, the jury for this decision was men AND women, supervisors AND students. Second of all, her presentation was clear, well-planned, professional and well executed. She has excellent English skills and has the ability to explain her topic so that everyone can understand it (unlike many who just put up complicated diagrams and copy-pasted sections of their articles in to powerpoint). I really don't like it that her smarts, her hard work and her accomplishment were dismissed because of her looks... especially considering that she is one of the most hard-working, sincere, well-rounded and intelligent people that I know. Why can't she just be congratulated on the work that she did?! I mentioned in the same conversation that the rest of the PhD students in our department also received high points for presentations (at least 3 of us in the top 10) and the profs just tried to read "between the lines". I still haven't figured out what they were getting at since I did not put anything between the lines to read. I simply wanted to highlight the fact that the time we spend practicing and evaluating presentations (in small groups) prior to presenting to a larger audience has clearly paid off considering that so many of our small group at this conference ended up receiving positive feedback about our presentations (on a variety of topics).

These questions/musings also are linked to coaching. I attended a coaching seminar earlier this spring and was one of 4 women in attendance, which was fine and "normal" for this seminar. What I didn't think was so "fine" was how easily my questions and comments were dismissed in our small group conversations. Was it because I am "new", young or female or did I ask my question "right"? Perhaps the hardest thing for me to swallow was when we were discussing training. I validated someone's point and commented that it is also a good idea to consider something else (no details are necessary here). The individual sitting next to me immediately made an off-hand comment that I don't know enough about the topic to comment about it. Which, of course, could have been true, BUT...I have studied it. As an athlete, I have experienced it first hand... AND I have seen others experience it too. Why would his first comment be "you don't know anything" when he doesn't know anything about me (we had literally just met)?

I suppose this is all part of navigating academic life as a "chick".

In Transition

2011-05-18T22:03:00.000+03:00

*Here I am in transition again. Being a secretary is more or less over and now it is back to the books. Or computer. Or "drawing board"? Whatever it might be called, it is switching gears, and hopefully getting a substantial amount of "my own work" done before hitting 2012. I'm not in any hurry to finish, but I need to keep moving forwards... and maybe it is time to stop taking so many side roads!

**Last week, I planted an apple tree with my dad. I hope it grows and doesn't get munched on by deer/moles/mice or any of their other furry friends. I also pulled weeds with little success. There is less quackgrass and creeping charlie in the garden, there is a lot more still waiting to invade open spaces... at least this means that there will never be a lack of outdoor activity at the cabin!

***The weekend included a coaching seminar in which the discussion focused on the "athlete's path" and strength training for juniors. The lecture on strength training for skiing laid out a picture of what I think strength training for skiing should be like.... how it should progress over a year. The most interesting part of the seminar was probably the discussion about "how" to become a top-level athlete (or to be fit, for that matter). I guess this is the huge secret that everyone is trying to get at. MOVE! The best endurance athltes in the world have done just that. They moved when they were young and they keep moving. They biked, walked or ran to and from school. They did their chores that included repetitive lifting, pushing, pulling. They played games in the yard, ran around during recess/free time, climbed trees and didn't park their behinds infront of the television/computer as soon as they got home. They were outside and they were moving!

****I bought a washing machine. I have longed for this convenience for a long time... I have previously saved my 20 cent and 1 euro coins in order to do loads of laundry using the machine in our apartment building... and am grateful that this option was available, but all clothes were basically washed on the same temp and same cycle. No options for delicate stuff (aside from wash by hand) and no options for really dirty stuff. Now I have a white box in my bathroom, more programs than necessary and the option of doing laundry whenever I want to (rather than signing up for a time and occasionally losing said time to others in the building).

Here comes the sun

2011-04-28T00:11:00.002+03:00

May is upon us. Where has time gone? Is summer really just around the corner?

Being a congress secretary. I told our secretaries at work the other day that I don't know how they do what they do. Every. Single. Day. I have been a secretary for a grand total of 4 months and it is insanity. Pure insanity. Somehow you are expected to know everything, arrange everything, remember everything related to... everything! I can't wait to get back to my research and reading books... and having only a few emails on a daily basis... This has certainly been an enriching experience, but thank God it is almost done. I can do this and maybe even do it well (we shall see this week), but this is not "me".

Sport. Now that my wisdom teeth are yanked, my stomach is back on track and the rest of my body seems to be behaving, I wonder if this getting back in shape thing might actually work. I bough bike shoes a couple of weeks ago and have been enjoying biking around the city (hopefully other longer trips this summer). I have been trying to keep up with practicing yoga to keep clearing the mind and body now and again. (It is interesting how yoga can change the feelings in your body. It loosens the muscles, and somehow the mind.) I will start coaching after the post season break soon. It will be interesting to continue working with the same group of kids and coaches. It gives us all a chance to get to know each other better and to develop as skiers and coaches. Should be fun!

It is not about the PhD

2011-04-27T00:07:00.003+03:00

I am not sure what it is, but I keep coming up "against" this idea that being "educated" makes you somehow "better" than someone else. It is not that I don't value education. I do. I just don't understand how having this degree or that degree makes some people think that you might be better than them, or even "too good" for them. Some of the smartest (and successful) people I know are not formally educated... AND of the formally educated individuals that I know, the ones that "shine" the most are the ones that boast the least about their accomplishments.

I suppose some people go after a degree, certifications and other experiences with the intention of filling the pages of their CV and so that they can recite their accomplishments to every person they meet (I had a well-known prof tell me all about his accomplishments once at the airport... I was surprised that he somehow felt he needed to tell me just how good he really is...). I stayed in school because I couldn't think of anything else I really wanted to do, so my safest best was to put of "reality" (i.e. finding a "real" job) and as luck would have it, dual citizenship made it possible for me to do it without going further into debt.

In terms of starting this whole PhD thing, I lucked out.... I still (for some odd reason) like to be in school and someone offered me a pay check to stick around and study (silly man!). I could just as easily be a research assistant or working somewhere else. This job just comes with a degree and a party at the end (and then, rumor has it, I have to find a "real" job).

Don't get me wrong, education is valuable... very much so. I am privileged to have the opportunities that I have had and believe that everyone should have access to education and/or mentorship of some kind. It is nice to have a little direction from someone else, or a group to learn with. I just believe that one can become educated in so many ways and that sometimes maybe too much value is placed on individuals who spend every waking hour at the University. What about experience? Working with people? Learning from different cultures? Learning in different environments? Trying things rather than just reading about them, or listening to lectures? What about working hard? Being self-educated? Having a degree doesn't mean that you know how to apply knowledge. Not having a degree does not make you less valuable than anyone else.

Education opens doors, but honest hard work (with or without a degree) does too. There are many ways to be successful... and success can be defined in many ways.

Derailed by milk? Nope...

2011-03-21T23:17:00.001+02:00

I previously mentioned temporary lactose intolerance and getting leveled by the seasonal flu. Well, the seasonal flu diagnosis was right, but the lactose intolerance was a symptom of something else. I got four wisdom teeth removed last year at the beginning of December - a good move for my teeth and overall health, but also the reason that I have been sick more than normal.

I realized I needed to go visit the dentist when my gums over one of my wisdom teeth got irritated. I found myself a dentist, got an x-ray, let the dentist poke around in my mouth ,and listened when dentist said the wisdom teeth have to go. All of 'em. So I but my lip and conquered my fear of needles and drilling in my mouth and nervously made it through the chopping of the teeth (while wiggling my toes - the best coping mechanism since I didn't want more holes in my mouth than necessary) and thought that after chewing on gauze for a while I would be good to go. If only.

The final tooth yanked was not so willing to go, so when it finally let go, it tore my gums and required a few more stitches than would otherwise be necessary... which of course ups the odds for infection... and my poor nervous immune system that was working on the other holes in my mouth could not stave off infection. So I have a round of antibiotics, then another, and another... and the infection went away! Now as most of you know, infections are caused by bacteria, and antibiotics kill bacteria, but antibiotics don't always just kill bad bacteria. The also can kill the good bacteria. My good bacteria put up a good fight, but succumbed to bad bacteria... which resulted in 2.5 months of an unhappy stomach... which was fixed by none other than... wait for it...antibiotics! The sick irony (pun intended).

Looks like the body and the bacteria are willing to cooperate now, so here's to getting myself back into some semblance of shape. I will start with going to bed before 11.30!

Holmenkollen

2011-02-25T22:38:00.002+02:00

In Norway for the World Championships and writing the Holmenkollen Insider for http://skitrax.com/

winter? cold?

2011-02-18T21:34:00.002+02:00

*It is -26C. It's warmer than last night when it was about -31 and the night before, and the night before that... when it was about the same. I have not seen a stretch this long of these kind of temps in a while and it looks like this trend will continue for at least a few more days. Brrr. Thank God for snow pants and long underwear. Even the short walk to the Uni requires one or the other (preferably both and a hat, mittens... boots).

It is so cold the trains are backed up (which seems to be a normal phenomenon with VR when flakes fly), it is so cold we have to cancel ski practice with the juniors, it's so cold that... I'm tempted to do cold experiments (like throwing boiling water off the porch, blowing bubbles....)

I have not had to venture out much the past few days though since I got leveled by the seasonal flu (way to not get a flu shot this year...). That is a nasty bug. Not much can get me to lie on the couch for the better part of 3 days (probably should have taken a fourth judging by how bad a cough I still have) but the flu can do it. Rest (sleep) and fluids are the best medicine, laughter doesn't hurt either. The down side is the back-log of work... oh well, it will be there tomorrow.

** Despite the cold, I am getting ready for what is probably THE event of this winter. World Champs (Nordic, of course) in Oslo, Norway. I'm heading out next week and get to spend the better part of the next two weeks watching skiing and hanging out in Oslo. This is going to be fun!

random observations

2011-01-31T22:58:00.002+02:00

of the negative kind, I'm afraid...

*I live by a high school and a University. There is a family park not too far away, playgrounds and areas for sporting abound. It is a nice area, especially when the sun is shining, the trees are covered with leaves and the flowers are blooming. In the winter, naturally, it is a little on the bleak side with white - grey snowbanks and barren trees. As a result of all of the white, I have been noticing this winter that those high school kids need a talking to about littering. I often see these kids pick up some candy or snacks from the grocery store across the way and walk to where they are going with a trail of litter scatted as they go. It is gross. It makes the snowbanks look ugly... and I don't get it. Is it really inconvenient to use the trash can outside the grocery store? or to shove your wrappers in your pocket until you get home? Is it somehow "cool" to litter? argh.

**One difference I notice in the service economy here is what sales people do when you try to return or replace something. Two examples of this. Last year I bought a pair of dress shoes. I wore them for one evening and part of the heel fell off. I went back to the store and asked if I could get a replacement since shoes should not fall apart after wearing them just once. The sales people clearly thought I was crazy for asking. They told me that they really shouldn't replace them, that I should go get them fixed but told me that they could make an exception even though they really shouldn't. Another example is this past weekend. I bought two tupperware dishes (glass ones with sturdy covers....). The saleswoman wrapped them in paper, placed them in a bag and I carried them home. Upon getting home, I opened the packages and took off the lids with the intention of washing the tupperware, but one of the containers had shards of glass fall into it. The edge was already damaged. I went back to the store today, showed the saleswoman and clearly inconvenienced her when I asked if I could replace said item. I suppose I should have checked to make sure that the container was in one piece before I left the store, but I'm trained to check eggs in a carton, not glass tupperware. Either way, I'm a bit surprised at how salespeople react if one complains. When I worked in customer service, if a customer complained, we always replaced the item and if the inconvenience for said customer was significant, we usually threw in something else (chocolate, flowers, a pie... whatever came to mind at the time). Strange difference....

Ota tuulelta suunta - take direction from the wind

2011-01-24T23:09:00.000+02:00

Ah the winds of change.... they're coming again. University life is one of constant turn-over. Students come and go and so do lecturers, professors, support and technical staff. The turn-over is much more pronounced in the student bunch because so many of us are still young and more-or-less "just starting" our lives. The beginning of this year includes colleagues defending and moving on, colleagues enjoying additions to the family (and thus paternity leaves), and colleagues studying abroad (because international cooperation is important). Me? I'll just stay here. I'll take a trip or two, but there will be no major changes in the direction of my wind for the time being. It should keep blowing steadily "forward".

While neglecting the blog, I have been educating myself somewhere else besides the University. Some time ago I mentioned that I would be taking part in a coaching course - and I have! So far, I have completed 3/4 of the course (12 days) and will finish up the last part (4 days) in April of this year. We have covered a number of different topics including training plans, strength, elasticity, technique, muscle "care", intensity, testing, timing and race analysis, psychology, waxing, ski selection... among other topics. We have also had a number of training sessions together and have done a lot of hands-on activities. The coaching course has spurred a lot of discussion amongst our group of coaches and has given us a lot of perspective on what we are doing... I am looking forward to the next session!

It seems that I am currently lactose intolerant. Apparently there is a stomach bug going around (along with colds, the flu and who knows what else). One of my colleagues told me that her son had a stomach bug and the doctor told her to eliminate lactose for a couple weeks and to slowly add it back in again once the stomach seemed to be acting "correctly" and that should solve the problem. I cut out all things containing lactose after our coffee break this morning and my stomach feels pretty good... and now that I think about it, every time I have had a meal without milk the past couple of weeks I have felt better than when I have the milk products. Weird. This had better be temporary though. I like my milk, yogurt and cottage cheese!

Somewhere out there

2011-01-19T22:44:00.000+02:00

I have not blogged in a long time... Which doesn't mean that I have not written. I have written a lot. Some of that writing is published or otherwise public and some of it is stored in the depths of my hard drive(s), in the piles of emails or on slips of paper here and there. I haven't blogged for a number of reasons. As my previous post alluded, I was exhausted this summer... or to be honest, I was well beyond exhausted and one of the easiest things to push aside and not do, was write a blog. I'm not exhausted anymore, so a brief review:

Academia:

I have made some substantial progress in my studies. (Ironic considering the exhaustion...). All of the data necessary for my PhD thesis and PhD minor has been collected - the data is not all from the past summer/fall, but has been collected over the past couple of years. I am still working on the two articles I have previously mentioned (doing more stats and finding the best angle...), and I have even prepared a brief outline for the rest of my articles while the analysis of data for them is ongoing (some by some of my students, the rest by me at a later date). Good stuff. It looks like this could all take shape some day! Right now I am not actually a PhD student (in official terms, though I am still on Uni payroll... as mentioned before, there is a congress coming up, and I am the secretary).

Learning:

I've done more of learning in the past months than can be accounted for in a blog post or even multiple blog posts. Learning is like climbing mountains, looking at the views and taking things in. I slid off my mountain for a while ("altitude sickness"?), but have been climbing back up and have been trying to enjoy the views more than before and am working on assuring myself better footing so that I don't slip again.

Coaching:

I'm still coaching. More than before. It has been fun to see the development in the kids and to figure out the different learning styles. I particularly like figuring out different group work-outs to target different goals and playing on skis with the kids doesn't hurt either.

Travels:

Since I last posted, I have been to the US twice, Norway and Slovakia. Visits to the US were to see my family and friends. Nothing beats spending time chilling with them. The only downside is every time I go back to Minnesota I am reminded of how much I love that place... then again, I love this place too. Norway was a vacation - I got to spend some quality time with my amazing cousin who brought me sight-seeing, showed me the Holmenkollen trails and brought me out shopping. It was a welcome break from the exhaustion. Slovakia was a work trip, but one of the best of its kind. Sport science by day and social activities by night. If you want to enjoy your colleagues, going to conferences is the thing to do!

There's a start..... more later?

fatigue

2010-07-17T22:47:00.002+03:00

Well the timing of that last blog post was a bit ironic... I hit the wall pretty hard core a few days after writing it. The body is good at telling you when to slow down, but I think that sometimes athletes/former athletes don't realize how fatiguing the "rest of life" can sometimes be, after all, I am no longer training between 600 and 700 hours a year (not including caring for equipment and travel...). I "just" work/study, coach and try to keep myself in some semblance of "shape".

Following a number of active weeks and weekends and very limited down time, I have gotten my next research project up and running while most everyone else (aside from my boss) has been on vacation. Finland kinda "shuts down" or at least slows down during the month of July which means that some things get done faster...and others do not. Getting a project up and running means, among other things: arranging people (research team, subjects), arranging places (2 labs, indoor track) and arranging equipment (finding it, getting it into the right labs, making sure no one else moves it, and this time, updating software...). In addition, I'm doing my secretarial tasks (for the international congress next year), planning another project (must have new project plans to apply for yet more funding) and still trying to get a handle on writing the two articles that have been waiting while I have been doing everything else..

Now that I think about it, I have only taken a few vacation days this year. In April I already had 10 unused vacation days... and technically I should have 4 weeks of summer vacation since I have been working since the beginning of 2009. As it happens, there have been few logical chances for me to use those vacation days. In retrospect, I probably should have used some of these days before my energy stores became low regardless of whether or not it was a "good time" to take it.... Live, and keep learning.

This time, I really didn't see the wall coming. A colleague or two said they saw it comining, probably from experience (most of them have been here/there too), but I am used to being on the move, so even though I found myself a bit frustrated and tired, and that things just were not flowing, I kept marching on. First, I tried to cure myself with coffee (not a good idea). Then, I tried to cure myself with a sunny Saturday roller skiing, biking, kayaking and then lying on the beach in the hot sun (yes folks, Finland's weather over the past few weeks would be classified as hot, we're breaking records!) and although this was good for the head, it was not what the body really needed... when you need rest... REST! Will I ever learn?

The Sunday morning following my attempt to cure myself with exercise, I awoke to a resting heart rate more than 20bpm over what I would consider "normal", a tickle in my throat and an all-over drained feeling. I spent most of Sunday on the couch and when I decided to go get some groceries, I locked myself out of my flat (I NEVER forget my keys). Monday was not much better. I guess the reality is that whether you like your job or not (and I really do like mine), sometimes you need to get away from it and let your brain and body do something else. The work will more than likely still be there when you get back.

Now it is probably a bit strange, but despite hitting the wall, I have been at work for a few hours every day. When I went to work on Monday after realizing that I was already pretty spent and should probably just sleep, I talked with my boss. We looked at everything that falls into my current list of responsibilities (it is long) and, within minutes, delegated some tasks (scheduling, calling subjects and such...) to a student worker. I've been learning how to delegate, but when folks are on vacation, I am not so good at it. Giving these tasks to a smart and reliable student takes a great deal of weight of my shoulders (and has significantly decreased the number of messages in my inbox as well as number of phone calls!). I have been trying to take a few weeks easy now and have only worked a few hours a day and made sure to get extra sleep so that my body can catch up with the rest of me. I have also escaped to the cabin a couple times for the weekend. Last week with a good friend of mine, this week alone and later joined by family. There, I soaked up energy from the quiet fields, familiar cabin, warm lake and good company. I'm back closer to "normal" now, but am looking forward to taking a couple of weeks off shortly (and a few days before that when my parents come visit!!).

The result of this "valley" of fatigue/hitting the wall was the realization that I can do a lot, but trying to do it all is not a good idea.

Midsummer

2010-06-25T09:46:00.001+03:00

Where does the time go? Midsummer arrives in Finland today, the year is half over and everything keeps going, going, going....and it will keep going pretty much until the end of September. As the rest of the country slows down into summer holiday mode, I get a long weekend (jihuu!!!) and a crazy couple of weeks to follow. My vacation will come later.

Some people say I work "too hard". But I am not afraid of work, so why not? I am interested in my work, and I do it because I want to, so I wonder where the "problem" lies.... so long as I like my work and get something out of it every day, it seems worth it to do as much as I can and want. Not that one should work so hard that it is detrimental to one's health or one's relationships, but if I work now, don't I get to enjoy the fruits of my labor later? I guess that remains to be seen!

Though I enjoy my work, sometimes I wonder if I should stop and smell more roses... or if I should stop to smell the roses more often. I take time off and take time for myself when I feel like I need it, but I've burned out before and gotten darn close to burning out again, so maybe I am missing something here?

I don't know why you say goodbye, I say hello

2010-06-20T12:48:00.001+03:00

Part of being an international student (I am, but I am not) means that every few months you face goodbyes. The past few weeks have been filled with graduations and goodbyes. The group I started out with here in Finland has, for the most part, now gone back to their other homes. Fortunately, I have made many friends along the way that are staying here for the time being and many friends that are probably going to be be here for a long time. Thanks to social networking, e-mail and skype, the friends that have left will only really be far far away in terms of distance.

This week we held a large international conference here in J-kylä. I was a speaker ready room "volunteer" for most of the conference. I also did some other random tasks and tried to get some of my own work done. On Wednesday night I was a Nordic walking "guru'' along with one of my friends. Some 140 people had signed up to participate in Nordic walking, but unfortunately crummy weather (it was dry when we started) and cool temps must have scared away half of our participants. Nevertheless, I got to shout instructions on Nordic walking into a megaphone while wearing a safety vest that was probably XXXL and then we took a scenic 6km walk along the shores of nearby bodies of water. It was fun to share Nordic walking with a group of newbies and to hear their reactions/reflections after the event!

International conferences typically have their share of mixed messages or cultural confusion. This time, I got a lot of laughs. While in the speaker ready room taking care of uploading presentations, a middle aged man and his colleagues came in (not sure what country they were representing...) and the man asked me where my parents are.

I thought I had heard him wrong since it seemed like a random question for a speaker ready room volunteer, so I said "sorry?". He repeated the question "where are your parents?". I replied that my parents are in the United States and he said "You're too young to be here alone!" I just laughed....

Having international guests also usually means that a couple of tours of our department. I gave a group of professors (4men and 1 woman) a tour on the last day of the conference. They must have taken 1000 pictures... they were impressed. One professor and his colleague also took a picture of my name tag and at the closing banquet used said picture to find me (by showing it to every Finn he could find). Eventually the pair found me and said that they wanted to thank me for my hospitality and friendliness, so they had bought me a small gift. They shook my hand and gave me a tube of anti-age wrinkle-reducing hand cream! I thanked them while trying not to laugh. What?! It is quite possible something was lost in translation... too funny!

My cell phone could not handle yesterday's morning workout... it has been struggling to stay in one piece and stay on for a loong time, but yesterday's pole hike with a friend made it so weak that I broke down and got a new phone (if the phone doesn't stay on even long enough to write a text message... we have issues! esp. since I use it for work too...). To start with, the battery compartment for the old phone was a hair too big for the battery (thank you online forums for this info). Even when it was brand new it would occasionally shut down for no reason. I solved this problem for a about a year with a post it note that was folded and stuck to the battery... but the construction of the phone didn't really like that. The new phone has a simple and sleek construction and I have no idea how to use it properly! This will take some time...

The sun just made an appearance... I'm going to go run in it!

Progression

2010-06-13T16:28:00.002+03:00

Progression (n) /prəˈgreʃ.ən/ [C or U] ~ when something or someone changes to the next stage of development (according to the Cambridge dictionary).

Buildings last longer when built on a firm foundation, the same applies to exercise and education. This is why we have a base-building period before we do hard intervals and why we warm up before intensive training. This is why we have kindergarten before elementary school, and high school before college. Progression is more or less natural as we learn, grow, age, and it is necessary in order to "keep up".

When teaching or coaching, it is good to start with easier tasks before doing the harder tasks. This seems obvious, but some teachers and coaches forget. Who doesn't want to advance? In some way, we all want to get to the top, and we want those that we are teaching or coaching to succeed as quickly as possible. Patience, however, can pay dividends. A foundation is something to build on, and finishing touches should really come after something is "finished" and not before.

Progression is a good philosophy when teaching and coaching in both the short term and the long term. Before you teach a complex concept, you should review the background, before you use a complicated exercise, you should be able to do less complex versions of the exercise. Before you do your master's you should finish you bachelor's. This applies to both young athletes and "old" athletes or young students and "old students". Even elite athletes work on balance, and base building every year. Professors still review the basics when they lecture to a beginning level class.

Progress, is a never ending process.

Thoughts about progress came to mind during that coaching seminar that I recently was at and while watching students, athletes and my own work over the past weeks. Sometimes we rush. We want to learn fast and to be able to do it all, but we don't take into consideration the fact that skipping steps, while sometimes effective, is not always the best way to go. Progression, the process of learning, is really important.

Piloting!

2010-06-05T13:14:00.000+03:00

Nope, I haven't switched to playing with airplanes (well, I did make a paper one a couple weeks ago at coffee....). We did the first pilot test for my new project yesterday. It didn't go perfectly, but was not a total disaster either. The ever present "demo effect" was happened during both loadings of the pilot, but we figured things out (better now than during the real deal). The positives include: the configuration I "designed" in the program that we use to measure force and muscle activation actually WORKED, I got in a decent workout for the day (I got to be the subject after teaching the grad students in my project the measurements), all of the people in the research group left with a smile (and some ideas of how to make the study better!). The negatives: busy lab, stuff being moved and not being where it is supposed to be...and forgetting that I was wearing a heart rate monitor that, when not "paired" with certain devices, will send out a signal that will confuse said certain devices... Oh well. A little humor and patience makes it all bearable. (I am stoked to also have good students working on this project with me!)

The first evening of coaching jrs this summer was on Wednesday. We did all sorts of plyometrics and other exercises to teach the kids "how to move". It was FUN. I think it is really interesting to start to get to know young skiers and figuring out what we can do as coaches to help them to become better skiers... each one of them has unique skills! I am looking forward to watching when kind of development we can achieve during the summer.

retirement? + becoming an educated coach

2010-05-25T23:24:00.001+03:00

Back to philosophy and education: one of my favorite profs from undergrad retired a few days ago. I wish I could have joined in the celebration to thank him for being one of my many valued teachers, but then again, maybe it is fitting that I am here, a place that he encouraged me to go. At the same time, I wonder if this prof can ever really be considered retired? Maybe he steps away from being employed by the college, but his lasting positive influence on generations of students makes me believe that he will never really be retired. Here is a prof that saw beyond the walls of the classroom and the four years that is considered undergrad. He pushed students to see beyond those walls, borders and time while quietly teaching students to approach life with a philosophy that "det kommer att ordna sig" - a simple phrase that inspires positive thinking and belief in many. He taught about language, history, art, music, sociology, philosophy.... he taught students to think... he showed us the wisdom that comes with lifelong learning.

I've been blessed with amazing teachers (of all kinds) throughout my life and only hope that I can do them justice as I continue learning and teaching myself

...

Speaking of learning, I started the third level of ski coach's education last Thursday in Vuokatti with two friends of mine and some 20 other coaches. The experience was eye opening in a number of ways. I walk away from part 1 of 4 with new ideas, new exercises, different perspectives, a changed motivation, lots of practical information, reminders, questions and sore muscles. The walking was actually painful the other day =)

The long weekend was made up of lectures, practical training (coaches getting sweaty), and good food (too much of it!). Getting sweaty included bounding with and without ski poles on the flat and on the hill, running 5x1000m at different paces to help us to determine our aerobic and anaerobic thresholds in terms of heart rate as well as training speeds, doing plyometrics, a number of different kinds of jumping tests (two legged hops forward and over hurdles, countermovement jump, drop jumps...) and doing a number of "muscle endurance"/activation exercises. I also learned a new stretch that (I am already convinced) will help me take care of my goofy back.

Being in Vuokatti meant a visit to the ski tunnel was necessary to see the current research (again). There's nothing like putting on your parka in warm and rainy weather and walking into a giant freezer =). Vuokatti seems like such a familiar place even though I have only visited 3 times. The first time was some 10 years ago when I was with my old ski club, and perhaps ironically, it was during that trip that I more or less decided that I wanted to coach/be a sport scientist... and that I was going to try coming here if I could. Going back to Vuokatti for a seminar earlier this spring was like completing a little circle, I made it back! and I will continue the journey by completing 3 more parts of the coaching education (whilst continuing this PhD thing) which requires some more reading/studying and *gasp* training, on my part! (This isn't sit on your bum and coach coach's education, they want us to improve our running and jumping results over the next 14 weeks... I have to write a plan, follow it and see results!!)

The project progresses. I most definitely have my work cut out for me.... eep. I have to learn some new methodology in addition to organizing everything and everybody. Whew.... must keep moving forward!

25.00273972603

2010-05-16T09:47:00.002+03:00

I woke up this morning to sunshine, and then some rain and then more sun and temps upwards of 20C (70F). Summer has arrived! Upon waking I also noticed that some muscles are a bit sore and the rest just feel like doing more! Ahhh....endurance exercise =)

The Pedasport Experience was quite an experience! You can check out the GPS tracking for the race here. The race took place in the relatively hilly terrain of Vaajakoski. I competed on a the team Sportia Jyväskylä Ladies with two friends from school. Amongst our competitors were more friends, most of whom are skiers (or were at some time). Our team benefited from a good combination of endurance and strength. (In particular, our upper body strength helped in the canoe portion of the race. It is fun to watch the GPS... clearly some boats zigzag, ours held a pretty steady line). My scrabble history helped with the "mind tasks" (gather letters from the orienteering controls and making words) and the girls I competed with orienteered well (no mistakes!). Aside from the fact that we have never competed together before (and thus had a few small communication glitches that nearly ended up in bike crashes.. heh), we made it to the end in 4th place. Here we are before we got sweaty and muddy =)

The biggest challenge in the race for me was the temperature. I like a hot day or two here and there, but the first efforts of the year when temps reach 70+ for me are typically sloppy. Our first really warm day was Friday, so there was not exactly time to acclimate. Keeping fluids in balance was a bit tough... we drank constantly and sweated it all out. All in all a fun and well-organized event!

The evening was spent at the awards ceremony with a quick trip to the city center to enjoy the warm evening temps with friends...

Now that summer has begun I have my work cut out for me and looking ahead it looks like I will not have too many days with "nothing" planned until at least midsummer. Yikes! Here we go...

another year older....

2010-05-15T18:20:00.004+03:00

and wiser?

I brought in my birthday this year with an adventure race (and because I was born in the states, the birthday technically or theoretically or something... started mid-race !) I am spent.. one of the first hotish summer days of the year and the longest physical effort. As a team we biked (on the road and off), ran, paddled and did mind games as well as some other "special" tasks... and covered over 75km of terrain (and then I biked home...)

Full race report later.. I am spent!

moving forward

2010-05-08T11:03:00.002+03:00

*I'm pubmedable! (and yes, that is probably a made-up a word). Only the abstract is available for the time being, but the full article should be available soon!

**The great transportation debate: My department entered a debate (or discussion) about transportation last week: What is the most economical way to travel between "here" and "there"?

Planes are typically considered one of the faster forms of transport, but if the flight is one hour and one must travel to and from the airports at both ends with adequate check-in time and the like... the travel time can be as long as... a train or bus ride. So, in terms of time-cost of travel it is more or less the same.

It is easier to get on a train and whip out your reading or laptop than on the plane since take-off and departure require you to put your stuff away... and if it is a short flight, the time to actually DO work onboard is quite short. In terms of the work-time-cost of travel, the train/bus option is more economical.

If we examine the monetary cost of flying vs. the train or a bus... well, you can go check the costs of tickets, and with rare exception, you will find that trains and buses are cheaper (we had 300+ euro per person flight option vs, a 100 euro per person train option).

The problem with buses is there is not as much room as in a train and in the train you can get up to stretch your legs...so...

RESULT: New in our department as of last week: trains, not planes! (Sorry pilot friends...I will still enjoy your trans-Atlantic services!).

The great transportation discussion also revealed some "secrets"... an unlikely prof is terrified of flying (which is unfortunate considering flying is one of the only options for getting to international conferences) and one prof has traveled by train only once before in Finland (and once abroad)! Shocking, considering how much trains are used here...

The source of the great transportation discussion (a meeting in Helsinki last Tuesday) put the train traveling back to the test for 2 profs (prof. rookie train rider and prof. more experienced train rider) and and myself... the results of this experiment appear to be positive. The meeting was successful, the train ride yielded getting some work done, good conversation and a little competition with no final result... yet.

***I'm going to do more coaching =) Some friends who coach needed some extra help this summer and since I have interest and some experience, they asked if another friend of mine and I could help out. We both got really excited and said "yes!!". We had a meeting with the regular coaches this week in which we went over what kind of kids we are going to be working with and to decide what we wanted to focus on/do with the juniors... this is going to be fun!

****A couple weeks ago I signed up for one of the highest levels of "coaching education" for skiing in Finland. I figure the scientific part of my brain has had a lot of opportunities to learn and develop and decided that a little more practical experience and education could be beneficial for the "big picture". Our first lessons are in a couple of weeks.. can't wait!

*****The new PhD plan is written and turned in. I now have my work cut out for me for the months ahead... here we go!

distraction

2010-04-17T18:24:00.001+03:00

I have been distracted from the blog for a while but I am not really sure where the time has gone....

*I have a new bookcase that makes my flat look significantly more home-like. It is amazing what a nice piece of furniture can do for a place! It took me an hour and a half to build the thing and since it weights a lot more than I do it was more than just a little challenging to move! Looks great, got a workout, can't complain.

*The "small" research project plan that I am writing continues to evolve and get better. Things are (so far) coming together nicely, and I am really excited about the whole thing. I have had input on plans in some of the previous projects that I have been involved in, but it dawned on me the other day that I wrote this plan from scratch with input from my advisor and some colleagues. Does this mean that I have become a researcher rather than "just" a measurer? It will be interesting to finish "designing" the plan and then putting the whole thing into action with the help of a few students. I think I already have a pretty solid group of students to work on this project with me and definitely have support from one of the institutions that we cooperate with which is pretty cool. Kör på!

*If you love skiing or sport science in general you must check out this youtube channel:

I've had the pleasure of meeting some of the guys who work at this place at conferences and they are just as cool in person!

*The galley proofs of my article have come to me and gone back to the publisher... my first article is in article form and *almost* published.

*I did my first 15km run of the year last saturday.... and another one this morning. It is clearly early season running...

*One of my old high school friends will be setting off on a North American Expedition. Very cool. Check it out: http://www.northamericanodyssey.com/

*I hope this volcano business does not last too long. On the one hand it is a pretty amazing work of nature and some of the photos that have been published are absolutely breathtaking... on the other, that's "my" flight path and my family's flight path and it is kind of scary that right now the fastest way to get across the ocean is a boat (i.e. slow).

Something:

2010-03-27T20:49:00.003+02:00

-Good grief it is difficult to concentrate when the sun is shining, the sky is blue and the temperature for a final ski (or a first real run of the season for that matter) is perfect... this describes much of the week behind. Spring time has arrived, the snow is making an effort to melt and the workload remains more or less the same (read: no lack of work to do). I am pondering the merits of being completely anti-social for a week or so in order for me to do the analysis for two articles and get first drafts of the manuscripts written. Too bad that is totally unrealistic. Maybe I can swing a day or two and get a good start?

-The PhD plan continues to evolve and change. I still have a month to make shape the final plan... and ironically, it may not include articles from the project that I have been working on for the better part of the past year. This is a good thing in that my plan keeps evolving more towards my interests, but a bit frustrating in some ways too. Regardless, I will write articles on said project, but the time I put into it will have to be put down more or less as experience than progress on the final product that is a PhD thesis. On the bright side, I am really excited about the "small" project that I have been planning. It's related to this concurrent strength and endurance training thing, but the "what?" will remain under wraps for awhile. I proposed my idea to a colleague from a previous project who is interested in a continuation to our previous cooperations... this could be really good!

-I was in Vuokatti last week for a seminar and a ski race. The seminar had some really interesting lectures on skiing, I got a tour of the Snowpolis and saw some current research on cross-country skiing in the ski tunnel. Newer versions of force transducers and smaller/portable ultrasounds are changing the way sport scientists look at skiing.... really cool. The seminar itself was multidisciplinary, almost too multidisciplinary for my tastes, but interesting nonetheless. The ski race was... great. I have not felt like that during a race (mentally and physically) in probably 4 years. Maybe "recovery" from overtraining didn't happen when I thought it did? Overtraining is a complicated phenomenon with physical and psychological symptoms that interact with one another. The two weekend races that I just participated in were the first ones since early in college where I was physically and mentally in the game from start to finish. I have had some decent results in other races since the end of college, but mentally or physically I have struggled in each one. These two races were solid. Sweet.

-Last Monday we had a dept.. field trip to go ski and sauna at Laajavuori. The skiing ended with sprints on the lake.... an ex-collegiate skier who is my colleague, one of my colleagues who has learned to ski only since moving to Finland, my boss and I divided into teams: one "skier" + one "recreational skier". The results from this team sprint were relatively even... then the "recreational" guys decided to take on the "skier" girls. First we all raced without poles. "Skier" girls were victorious. Then we gave the guys their poles back and raced again. "Skier" girls were victorious. Then skier girls took off one ski and raced again (with only one ski).... "Skier" girls were victorious!! We stopped there while the "recreational" guys were still smiling (both are wicked competitive).... and to keep departmental peace. I have a sneaking suspicion that they will train in secret and ask for a rematch in about a year's time.

-My students that failed their first practical exam with me passed! The extra time helped them a lot. It was not the best effort I have seen so far, but it was clear that they spent some time reviewing and probably asking their peers for help. I am a happy teacher. It is not fun to see students struggle...

that is all for now..

life and times of this PhD student

2010-03-11T22:36:00.008+02:00

*Sometimes I wish I was blogging anonymously because the things that happen in our department are, at times, unbelievably entertaining and would be fun to write about. On the other hand, without context and knowledge of the characters involved, it would be difficult to understand some of the things that happen... and perhaps also why they are entertaining. After a roughish couple days at work last week and last weekend (brought on by looking a little too far forward rather than taking it a week or a day at a time -- which is the best strategy for busy times), I have laughed a lot this week. The personalities and interpersonal relationships in our department are like most others, but as with any group of people you are bound to learn things about people you would not have expected to learn... and with a bunch of sport scientists you are bound to find some sort of underlying traits of competitiveness (unrelated to sport achievement or numbers of publications)... or perhaps this is just natural human competitiveness? At any rate, I love the laughter. I'll take it over stress :)

**I failed my first student(s) on a practicum the other day. I realize that students have varying levels of motivation, but considering how difficult it is to get into the program that they are in I was appalled at their lack of effort (and ability to perform even the most basic part of their practicum... which was the equivalent, I kid you not, of matching shapes). I let them "suffer" for the duration of the practicum rather than telling them they failed right away (while pondering the "correct" pedagogical approach for the situation). I probably could have gone for a cup of coffee before the next group came for their practicum, but I figured that if these students are going to "waste" my time, they might as well feel just a little bad or embarrassed about it and let me use their discomfort as a teaching moment to the best of my rookie ability. After giving them some hints, pointing to where things are in the lab and showing them how to follow the instructions that the computer gives them for calibration of the device(s) in question, I asked them how they thought things had went, and upon receiving no answer... and then a weak protest that there was "no time" to practice (everyone else had time and so far everyone else has performed either at or over expectations), I told them when I have a free hour or two in a couple weeks and that I expect them to reserve the lab, find all of their materials and be able to perform the tasks required (while even citing some additional resources for help - for them to learn). If this practicum was not part of a massive course I would have told them to "find the time" next year, but as it is, I am making them try again. Should they demonstrate cluelessness a second time, I guess I will see them next year (that's the rule for this course).

***We still have snow, and goodish skiing, and races at least the next two weekends that, I will more than likely participate in (yes, really!). Today's temps probably did in the excellent conditions (I suspect it will get a bit icy), but a good grooming or two will probably keep things running for a while (that and it appears temps are going to slip below freezing again and we have had some flakes on and off for the past few days!). The other day I spent an hour and a half with 11 people on the roof of Valio milk clearing snow - unbelievable how small of an area we cleared with that many people.. I didn't realize we had gotten THAT much snow, but apparently we have. I'll have to enjoy it while it lasts!

While there is snow...

2010-03-07T21:59:00.003+02:00

+20km today, +15km yesterday, the temps are perfect, the snow is not melting yet and while I feel like I should pull a Saturday at the office (to be selfish and do stuff for me and only me), I figure I should ski while the snow lasts. I skied the "race" 10km trail for the first time today. It has rarely been open and skiable in the time that I have lived here, and since it is one of my favorite trails to run, I figured it was time to ski it... ouch. The trail reminded me of skiing at Al Quaal up in Ishpeming, MI. It is a narrowish trail, technical and very hilly (long, short, steep, gradual and then some technical downhills for some added excitement)! I was the only person I saw out on it. I'm guessing the hills of the "fitness" 10km are enough for most people (they are nothing to shake a fist at either!). While the trail is mostly skiable, I think it requires a degree or two more of strength (legs and arms) than I currently have and the downhills are pretty intense (especially because of the narrowness of the trail, you have to stay on your feet!). Insanely beautiful day for a ski today though. I could have stayed out there all day. Seriously. (Ran into a couple of friends while skiing the 5km loop after the "race" 10km and was joined by a friend who is "learning" to ski for another 5km. She can ski but is learning technique, and p.s. renting classic skis is no fun if they are not the right flex for you...too bad rental peeps don't know this).

Gearing up for what might be a challenging few weeks at work. There is waay too much going on in the lab for my personal sanity (ok, we'll see). There are something like 5 projects going on at the same time. We use similar or same equipment, we have to synchronize schedules and people and things and... It is doable, but my goodness it is complicated! Am also dealing with paper work, students, plans, teaching, watching what happens with the university re-structuring that is going on in addition to all the financial woes that Finland and our University are not immune to.

Brief "rant": It's a global problem y'all - a lot of people have this English "me" problem when it is really a Finnish "me" problem (i.e. a "we" problem since "me" in Finnish is "we" in English - thank you to an old Salolampi speech for that analogy!). Be happy you have a job, and be happier if you get to keep it. Even though we need to tighten our belts a little and probably chip in a little extra at work (without "extra" compensation in terms of a few Euros) we're the lucky ones. For real. (The only beef I have with all this re-structuring and negotiation of the contract for Uni employees (as far as I know) is the bit on sick leave... in which it has been suggested that there should be no paid sick leave and you start losing money for each day sick - including staying home to care for your kids if they are sick. This would force a lot of people to come to the Uni sick and to put their sick kids in daycare, what would that accomplish? Student X that I know worked on a project while on meds for a bad flu that student X had while said student X should have been home recovering.... and now some 3 months later student X is STILL fixing the mistakes and misjudgments that student X made. Where was the time and money really lost? Do we really want folks spreading all sorts of fun communicable diseases?). Having written that, the Uni might go on strike next week...just a little more excitement :)

g'nite!

"It's like riding a bike!"

2010-03-02T19:11:00.003+02:00

It's a ski like today that makes me wonder how I could have ever thought about "quitting"...and that makes me wish that having a full-time job and other "adult" responsibilities did not get in the way of skiing more often. Part of it is time management (some days I am great at this, other days... not so much), part of it is logic (-29C and a 2 hour ski might not always be in my best interest... the gym or a run closer to home might be better). Perhaps I need to find a way to make some more time on hectic days when I can be at work for 10 hours+ without burning the candle too much at both ends... and perhaps I need to be better at making sure to take the time when I have easier work days. Finding balance. (This just got a tiny bit more difficult though! *gasp!*)

Today I marveled at the ability of the body to recover from illness (that stomach flu really drains energy and mine was relatively mild in comparison to the cases that some of my friends have had) and how it constantly remembers how to move. The way that some complex motor skills (like those required in skiing) are so ingrained in our bodies. "It's like riding a bike!" Even though I don't train nearly as much as I used to, my skis still find their way down the trail, even in the dark forest. My legs still move without thought, my arms know where to plant my poles and my core remembers that a crunch will help propel me forward. My heart knows to pump harder, my lungs know to breathe air. Skiing easy is an unconscious effort. My mind wanders... signs on the side of the trail pop out of the darkness as if they were people (and spike my heart rate). The texture of the snow changes when I come to a clearing, I can feel it beneath my feet, I adjust. A hill grows out of the darkness, the snow softens, I adjust. A down-hill, a turn, a rut, solid tracks, fresh snow, I adjust... and it happens without conscious thought.

winter fever

2010-03-01T20:24:00.004+02:00

More on the Olympic skiing: Not 100% sure what is going on with any of the ski teams since I have little or no direct contact to any of them, but based on the performances I have seen (thank you YLE broadcasting for knowing that skiing is a very important Olympic event and that it is essential to have live broadcasts of all of the skiing events), the interviews I have heard (esp. the ones with the Finnish skiers), and the langrenn/fasterskier/skierpost/Finnish, Swedish and Norwegian newspapers that I have read, I believe that a good portion of the Finnish team is overreached or perhaps overtrained... at the very least, something did not go right in the preparations for this Olympics. Not every race goes as planned, not every race week goes as planned - this is part of competitive sport, but there was a number of skiers that performed waay under expectations which was a bit strange to watch. I wonder if having the Tour de Ski and the Olympics in one season (and relatively close together) is a bad idea? Many folks have observed that those who performed the best in the Olympics left the Tour either completely or partially out of their plan for this season. The race and travel schedule that skiers deal with without these major events is hectic and taxing enough... is the Tour too much? I am looking forward to hearing and reading the analysis on the season. What went wrong, when and how... and what is next? How will the skiers and coaches learn from the mistakes? How many skiers will take place in the Tour de Ski in 2014?

In other news: Was up north for some downhill and cross-country skiing as well as a little bit of snowboarding.... which was great fun until getting some nasty stomach bug. The irony (for Finnish speakers anyway) is that the illness seems to have started after eating a pizza by the name of "Yrjö". That is the first (and last) time I (or my friends) will order a pizza by that name. Pictures taken before the stomach bug hit =)

My feet, strapped to a snowboard (for real). Yes, that is the "bunny hill".

The top of Tahkovuori.

Going up, before coming down.

Missed the Birkie again this year, but lived vicariously through the results and friends's photos. Might be up for another marathon before the snow melts here!

SNOW PANTS

2010-02-20T16:21:00.001+02:00

I haven't used or owned snowpants in probably 15 years, but some impending outdoor winter activity in combination with unseasonably cold temps consistently around -20C and a 50% off deal that I could not pass up... and I am the owner of snowpants (and a sweet parka)... and I'm in love.

I remember how exciting snowpants were when I was really little and I think snowpants-clad little kids are cute, but somehow the "un-coolness" of snowpants that set in (I'm guessing it was 3rd-4th gradeish) has stayed with me for years. Some of you may think 'but you ski!'. Indeed I do, but when it is wicked cold out, skiers layer clothing like it is going out of style... Others of you may think 'well how did you handle -20C before?!'. Well, snowpants are not a necessity at -20C when you go from home to your office and when you wander around a city where all the buildings are close by. You get chilly sometimes, you put long underwear or tights under your jeans and try not to look like a stuffed sausage. The beauty of snowpants that I have rediscovered is: that they fit over jeans or any other pants; in central Finland they are almost fashionable (unless you are a teenage girl in the "snowpants are un-cool" phase); they are *warm* and encourage more outside time when it is bitterly cold (which is a good thing... it is hard enough to get outside with the Olympics on after work every day and it has been as cold as -29C so skiing has been limited); AND they are ridiculously comfortable!

Speaking of the Olympics...The skiing has been exciting if a little confusing and disappointing at times. The US is performing waay under my predictions. Realistically, I thought we might see a couple of top-10 finishes, especially in sprint, but this is not the case, and like some others, I too have noticed that more often than not the top American skier is not on the "normal" USST. Hmmm... Now if I think the US is underperforming a bit, I can't really say much for the Finnish team. To say that folks here are disappointed is an understatement... particularly after 3 of the men DNFed the pursuit last night and that came immediatley after our mäkimiehet (the ski jumpers) were disqualified (suit problem), injured and otherwise just jumping terribly. What is going on? The group of Finns that I watched skiing with started cheering for Sweden in cross-country and decided that Poland's Adam Malysz success could, in part, be our own since he has trained and been coached/advised here in Finland... tonight we won't be so nice. When the puck drops for the SWE-FIN hockey game, it's ON!

Sirkushuveja

2010-02-17T21:35:00.002+02:00

*Rome wasn't built in a day, PhDs aren't either. I'm still working on revising "the plan". The foundation is laid, which is great, but the details...the details... well, my plan is a mess... or rather, my plan was a mess. I'm the PhD student who has participated in a number of different projects and who likes being involved and active. The problem is that since the beginning of 2010, I realize that I have not been very focused, though I have accomplished a few things. With spring on the way, it's time to thaw out and grow.

The good thing about being involved and participating in a number of projects is that I have learned a lot. The bad part, is that I find I've allowed myself to stop thinking creatively and analytically in order to get things done, and my vision is "out of focus". Plans have changed a number of times, flexibility has been necessary, I have a lot of different kinds of responsibility, so every so often it becomes hard to keep up, or to know what to focus on. What's important? Where are we going? What are we doing? PhD students are supposed to be busy and involved though, so in some ways, this goes with the territory, but at some point one needs to find something to focus on, otherwise you might not find the finish line....and since I'm part endurance athlete, I live for the finish line! One "half" of my new plan should be ready within the next couple of weeks, the whole thing, by April... good thing I can already use the past-tense when I tell you it was a mess!

Why? After loooong conversation with my advisor (in which I realize that part about no longer being creative and analytic and that I'm in the "just get it done rut"...but leave with suggestions, a little fuel for the fire and the thought that "this will be good"), a discussion with friends (in which I get to purge my thoughts and get a few suggestions and perspective) and another conversation with one of my favorite colleagues (in which I get some new info on some of the creative ideas that are starting to come to me, as well as the thought that "no, seriously, this is gonna be gooood")... I think I might have "it", or at least am getting closer to "it"... though admittedly I am a bit embarrassed that the first round of my recent plan was such a mess (really, you should see all the pen and pencil marks on that sucker...it's ugly!).

*Teaching my first class in Finnish tomorrow... yikes?!

*Walked on the treadmill with a bunch of electrodes, two ultrasound probes, two goniometers, and a force sensor strapped to my right leg. The biomechanists of our department like my muscles =)

*I love the Winter Olympics. The scenery from Vancouver is beautiful! The time difference, on the one hand, makes most coverage NOT interfere with work... but on the other, the nights have been loooong!! *ouch!* Majdic just fell HARD off the side of the ski trail in the sprint qualifiers... that must have been painful! ....... now the men's qualification is also over and Newell is out. Took a spill, game over. Ouch. I was thinking he could at least pull off a top-10. The skiing sure has been interesting to watch... it was surprising was how poorly things went for the Norwegians (especially the men) earlier this week when their best skier was 28th. The Finns have been struggling, the US has not been having a great time and I think that this entire Olympics has already had more spills than any other that I have previously watched! black and blue all over... and there went an alpine skier! owwww... ok, time to get things ready for tomorrow so that I can focus on watching the sprints... and there went another alpine skier... that had to hurt!

Interesting post in the NYT: What matters most?

recovery

2010-02-05T20:36:00.003+02:00

Recovery is an all important part of training and racing. This time of year is particularly important in terms of staying healthy for almost anyone who plays on the skinny skis. Back in MN it is time for conference, sections and State, the collegiate teams are fighting for NCAA spots, the world elite are gearing up for the Olympics, distance skiers (recreational and elite alike) are prepping for their respective races before the snow melts... and no one really likes to get sick. Recovery is important, but sometimes you get a cold anyway. I did a pretty good job with everything recovery-related after that 50km... *Dry clothes on after the finish line *Food/water into the system ASAP after getting inside *Sauna *More food/water into the system. Sunday morning went for 10km really easy, Monday taught a colleague and his fiance a little technique (warm clothes on and no hint of illness). I thought I was in the clear, but when I woke up Tuesday morning...ehhhhh....bummmer. Sometimes it is inevitable... I sniffed and snuffled my way through the work week (and was greeted a couple times by the "you look rough" comment to which I replied "thanks, I know" - I love it when people point out that you look terrible when you a) know it, b) feel it and c) are doing your best to NOT look terrible!). Here is to getting back to 100%!!

Article from this week that I enjoyed:
On food: here
On vitamin D: here

another 50km

2010-01-31T17:24:00.004+02:00

A year ago this weekend I completed my first 50km classic race, this weekend I did #2 with some of my friends.

Race report: The weather was darn close to perfect. It was overcast, but bright. The temps were around -10C, for glide we had Rex Green covered by Rex Olympico Blue and some TK72. For kick, some Rex Base Binder with Power Grip Green. Right before the race we added a little Swix Blue (from 1994, the Olympic stuff). The race followed a slightly different course than last year, but was still challenging with quite a few sections of solid climbing (check out the profile from this link). My kick was solid (yay!) but my time was a bit slower than last year... softer track? Different course? Less training? Not sure, but cannot complain, it was a great day for a ski. A fun course, the skis worked well, and I was out there with friends. The day ended with sauna, food and a movie... and all of us totally tired. =)

As as result of the 50km I did not paint this weekend, but will probably get back to that next week. Almost done!

random thoughts

2010-01-28T22:30:00.003+02:00

*Maybe I should have pursued meteorology.... yesterday and today I have watched as different weather patterns move through the area. The sky was blue, the sun was bright, and the wind direction and pressure were changing... how do I know? The smokestack from a factory of sorts that is located a few hundred meters from my office window behaves in mysterious ways... and clearly I have been looking out that window every so often (in deep scientific thought of course, none of this 'I want to go outside and play/ski stuff...' *sigh*).

*Have been following the health care debate State-side with one eye... I have not read every article on health care reform, and certainly do not know every single detail of the legislation that is currently being discussed, but in terms of universal coverage, I struggle to see how people think it is such a bad idea. Sure, it will probably require a little more in the way of tax dollars, but if it means that everyone has access to vaccinations and preventative screenings/health care, I do not see the harm. Preventative care would, in fact, more than likely decrease health care costs because people would not have to wait until they are at death's door before getting the required (quite possibly more invasive and certainly more expensive) treatment in an emergency room (which, if they are uninsured, comes out of tax payers' pockets anyway!).

I remember being darn close to infuriated after attending Kip Sullivan's lecture
"Health Care Mess" in October of 2006 at GAC... Sullivan is the author of "The Health Care Mess: How We Got Into It and How We'll Get Out of It"... After the lecture, I walked home grumbling... I couldn't (and still cannot) understand how the US system is the most expensive (per person) in the world and over 43 MILLION people don't have insurance (that is about 7.5 times the population of Finland!!). I understand the advances in technology and pharmaceuticals aren't cheap, but the U.S. isn't the only country that benefits from these, so why is it that our costs are so much higher and why is access limited? Access to health care should not be a privilege and I, for one, will happily shovel out a few extra dollars from my paycheck (as I do here where I currently reside) so that I don't have to see my family, friends and neighbors unable to access even the most basic of health care.

This whole issue serves as a reminder that we're the lucky ones. I have access to health care and I have my health. What do I have to whine about?

*Lately I have been pondering the value of education. I am a student (and sometimes a teacher), at a university. The point of me being a student is this whole learning thing. The point of me being a teacher is this whole teaching thing... and also learning. The "stuff" I do when I am at work is, in large part, learning. I GET to learn/teach, I GET to watch people learn/teach... which is all pretty cool. Learning and teaching are both amazing opportunities and I feel like most of the reward (or compensation if you prefer to think about it like that) lies in the fact that one is learning, or that one is teaching (and watching others learn).... the fact that this is my current job and I get paid for it is pretty sweet.

Now that we have that established, here's what bothers me about this value of education thing: I recently did something "extra" at school/work. It didn't take up all of my time, it was interesting, I learned/gained some experience from it and I taught/helped some people in the process of doing it. The value of doing it is right there: I gained a lot from doing it. I had already moved on to other things this week and had no intention of going back to the whole thing.... but yesterday I was asked if I needed some sort of compensation or recognition for it. No. I don't. It was not a huge task and I probably got as much out of it as the people I did it for (if not more). I explained that I wasn't expecting anything extra because it was one of those mutually beneficial things. The task was related to my own study plans even though it is not specifically written in the plan... The individual to whom I explained my thoughs looked really confused... and then I realized then how often people ask for compensation for "special" tasks that involve learning. I can think of countless examples from my time here. It seems that few people will do something or pay for the sake of learning these days... class credit or money have to be given for attending every lecture, for spending a couple extra hours in the lab... I always figure that if I help someone now, they (or someone else) will help me later (probably a bit on the naive side and too good to be true, but I prefer it to the pessimistic alternative....). I have always valued learning opportunities as learning opportunities whether or not I get class credits or some monetary compensation, it never dawned on me that I could or should ask for "extra" compensation for learning something. Can't a lesson also be a gift (or "compensation" enough)? Hmmm... seems I am not cut out for business...

*Interesting article about doping in the NYT last week: Here

*Even better article in the NYT about skiing this week: Here (cross country skiing and Andy Newell in the NYT!!)

*Still painting wall-by wall and *almost* done! I'm getting excited. Just a few more hours of work and I will have a painted flat!

*Was informed that I will be teaching this term... in Finnish.... real students, who actually have to learn something... from me... eep! Good thing that I have a) taught this one in English b) apparently taught it well in English! I got some feedback a week or so ago from one of the other teachers in the course that basically said "this year the students were able to do task X better than in previous years". We'll see if we can translate that.

*Signed up for a ski race... a long one. Which means I will ski for a long time.. and since it has been on the cold side (we're taking -27C) and I have been a wimp (or smart) and have not been skiing so much the past few days.... we shall see if I return =)

Leave it on the back burner

2010-01-18T21:39:00.002+02:00

The re-arrangement of study things continues... and for the time being, it looks like things are working in my favor. This time not getting the big bucks actually means that I can tailor my thesis even more towards my specific areas of interest! Not that this won't have its own price tag, but it will require substantially less funding (though possibly more applications - ya win some, ya lose some). I'm still working on details and probably won't put the plan into action until later this year (after getting some previous relevant project work done), but am thrilled that I have time to think through a number of different options and to maybe try out a thing or two before getting caught up in the excitement of being in the lab again. This re-arrangement is going to be on the back-burner for a couple of weeks though because I have again turned into a grant writing and editing machine again. The editing is actually a PhD thesis for an older colleague who is defending later this spring. I have been given the task of "language checker", which has been interesting, if a little challenging. Fortunately, I can think in Finnish as well as English so I can sort out the occasional very complex sentence. Otherwise, there is some overlap in our research interests, so when I'm not fixing the grammar I am taking notes about how to write a thesis and the authors cited that I have not looked at yet myself.

The skiing here has been great. I try to make it out most days, but have also tried to include some running and strength. When it's wicked cold out, sometimes it's a safer bet to get in a run. I have been looking at doing a few races but have yet to decide if I will dive in this year or not. The fall training was some of the worst (and a few workouts would qualify as "best") training in years. Not necessarily quality, but quantity (volume) was pretty loooow. We'll see what happens from here on out!

Have been working on flat aesthetics quite a bit as of late. I have a new energy (and some time! shhhh, don't tell anyone!) to actually get some things done. Since returning to Finland I have gotten ALL of the rest of the ugly, outdated and/or peeling wallpaper off of my walls. I've done a little bit of painting in my entryway and started the nasty and dusty task of filling holes in the wall of the bedroom and then sanding everything so that everything is smoooooth. I'm excited to have made some progress and am hoping to have 90% (if not 100%) done before the end of February. Schweeeet!

frozen ground

2010-01-05T17:09:00.002+02:00

I'm back in Finland where it is chilly and snowy (just like in MN)! Travels back were reasonably uneventful considering how eventful some folks' travel has been as of late... The excitement this time included getting pulled aside at MSP for some questioning related to the teapot in my carry-on (it would likely not have survived baggage handling ) which happens to have a "metal cartridge" (i.e. tea filter) in the middle of it... not a problem, but I guess it looks a wee but suspicious. I asked if there was any way that I could make the lives of the next security people easier (and perhaps also mine) and the security official suggested that I just take the teapot out and show it at every security checkpoint (add that to the shoes, the winter jacket, the laptop and the bag of 2oz bottles - toothpaste and some lotion....). Next up was security at O'Hare, which, aside from being the longest lines I have ever seen for security at O'Hare, was totally normal. The flights this time were smooth, and aside from a few hours delay at Arlanda in Sweden, I made it home in one tired piece on Sunday night. It is nice to collapse into one's own bed after trans-atlantic travel.

Monday morning it was back to work. Re-arrangement, re-evaluation, synchronization of new and old ideas, and some extra planning were the themes of this week (along with trying to get back into the rhythm of things). Perhaps not having money for a big new project can be considered a blessing in disguise. I'm game for the current plan which involves continuing and completing some of my previous projects as well as organizing a congress (eep!). It will be an adventure with a lot of new things to learn and do!

It was great to be back in MN, to take a step back to rest and to think about the past year and the year ahead. Vacations in general are valuable. I find I don't realize how tired I am before I actually make it to a break or a vacation, but I certainly notice new energy following a break.

So with the new energy there is not much more to do than: kör på!

Bring it on 2010

2009-12-31T06:56:00.005+02:00

The waiting game is over, and the funding decision was not in our favor... i.e. goose eggs all over our department and our city. Ya'd think it was easter already! Not to worry, one should always have a "plan b" and maybe "plan c" and "plan d". I think we went straight to "c", but plans we have and I was instructed to be flexible and am, so we'll figure it out.

Here's a couple of nice (in my opinion) pictures from the end of the year:

KUUSAMO, FIN

Nordic Opening 2009

Battle Creek Park, MN

good skiing with the high schoolers 2009

My New Year's Eve celebrations include coaching the ol' high school team (done and the ladies I worked with today made some huge strides in their technique... I was kind of like a proud mama, it was FUN!), eating a good steak with the parents (done, and yum) and then heading over to my seester and her husband's place --> where I have a hot date with the sauna (insert appropriate level of laughter or groaning *here*)! Otherwise we'll enjoy a little bit of the local brews and good company. =)

My wish for the new year (using words from the Goo Goo Dolls song "Better Days")

"And you ask me what I want this year
And I try to make this kind and clear
Just a chance that maybe we'll find better days....
I need someplace simple where we could live
And something only you can give
And thats faith and trust and peace while we're alive
And there's one poor child who saved this world
And there's 10 million more who probably could
If we all just stopped and said a prayer for them...
I wish everyone was loved tonight
And somehow stop this endless fight
Just a chance that maybe we'll find better days...
So take these words
And sing out loud
Cause everyone is forgiven now
Cause tonight's the night the world begins again"

Happy New Year 2010 to you and yours!

SNOW! and Christmas!

2009-12-27T21:58:00.001+02:00

Back in good old Minnesota for the holidays - this is a great state!

The weeks leading into my departure from Jkylä for the duration of the holidays were, in a word, BUSY. There was work, there were get-togethers, pikku joulu celebreations, more work, and the general prep for travel (which more-or-less happened in a few hour span a day or two before leaving). Our department had its traditional pikkujoulu on Friday the 11th, and on Saturday the 12th at 2am I was sitting on the bus from Jyväskylä to Helsinki-Vantaa where I arrived shortly after 6am... Tired, and slightly confused by the remodeling that has been done there, it took me a spell to get orientated and checked-in. My plans to do last minute shopping at one of my favorite stores in the airport were foiled by the remodeling confusion (had I been more awake, perhaps things would have worked out?). I ate my breakfast, drank coffee, and tried to stay awake while waiting for my 8.30 flight to Stockholm-Arlanda. The flight was about as uneventful as it could be (thank goodness!).

At Arlanda I bought a murder mystery and headed to the gate where I overheard the gate agent comment about the over-sold flight - my flight - that's when I realized that I had no seat assignment like the individual to whom the gate attendant was talking to... he was told that he might not get on the flight, and that he needed to visit the "service center." *gasp!* I made a quick visit to the SAS service center and got no answers. The young lady there wasn't actually doing service center stuff... someone else was coming later... not to worry, I got in line to check-in anyway, and got a seat assignment after standing in line for 15 min (the gate attendant almost turned me away since I didn't have a seat assignment but decided to give my status a little check before politely telling me to take a hike - as she did to the individual in front of me). Yay for getting on a flight... and upgraded to economy extra, no less!

The flight commenced with a brief announcement from the captain that we would probably see "some turbulence" along the way. Well, over Greenland I could have cried. Already worn out from traveling and encountering the worst turbulence I have ever experienced (which is probably not the worst it could be, but I could hear glass breaking in first class) was enough to get me pretty scared. Fortunately, the Captain informed us approximately how long it should last after communicating with the aircraft in front of us and assured us a relatively smooth flight once the turbulence passed... so I just held on to my arm rests and tried to stay calm while the plane bumped up, down, and sideways...eep!

Arrival in Chicago was, as usual, a mini shock to the system. I again observed how most passengers seem to think that getting as close as possible to the baggage claim makes bags come more quickly - clearly this is the key to allowing other passengers being able to grab their bags.... the ones that are actually already going round and round on the belt! Clearing customs and leaving baggage at the proper place when one is continuing one's journey beyond O'Hare is also pretty entertaining when it is congested -- it seems that most passengers go into a panic mode - obviously they are the only ones who have a connection to make. Ehhh... everyone handing over their bags again after customs is trying to make another flight! Some folks are "lucky" with the 4 hour layover while others have 20min, but really, shoving and making rude comments to those waiting patiently in line is not going to speed up operations! The same principle can be applied to boarding the train to switch terminals at O'Hare - shoving people into an already over crowded train does not make things move more quickly! It took three train loads of people before I was able to board the train to switch terminals. This type of behavior doesn't happen so much at the smaller airports that I usually travel through, so it makes me laugh (and possibly roll my eyes) a little bit every time!

Arrival at MSP was nice, we flew over the city and my brother (the pilot) met me at the gate which is pretty sweet considering that no one is really allowed at the gate of flights to greet people anymore. He just happened to be flying out of MSP shortly after my arrival and he even bought me coffee (yay!) before I went to find my suitcase and my dad.

Being at home in MN has been nice. Well, aside from having a cold that started one day after my arrival (seems to be the traditional travel-cold) and trying to get over some of the exhaustion that ensues post crazy-busy term at school/work and a long flight. While I have mostly recovered from my cold, the occasional spell of coughing and sneezing has lingered... Not that I have done a stellar job in helping it go away. I have been coaching my old high school ski team a bit, have visited friends and family, been to kauneimmat joululaulut, waxed a few pair of skis at my dad's shop (mine and a few pair for customers), and reading. As promised (to myself and friends), I have not done any "real" work for the past two weeks. (yipes! It feels weird, but is certainly needed). I have checked my email, but a vacation needs to be a vacation so that I can start 2010 with energy, so I have been relatively lazy for a change.

We got a nice Christmas snow storm here in MN. Well, it started out nice and then got a little sloppy with rain. The snow was wet and made for some heavy shoveling, but was also good for making a snowman in the backyard (yes, my brother and I still enjoy playing in the snow). It also has set up the ski trails pretty nicely for the rest of the season if temps stay in the winter range. I'm hoping the situation is similar in Jyväskylä!

The next few days I'll keep playing the funding waiting game again while looking forward to figuring out what I'm doing with 2010. It's decision time, or maybe time for new creativity? At any rate, I should know what direction this PhD thing is going to go soon. More on that at a later date... otherwise I only have a week left in MN. Time to see a few more people, do a little more shopping and get my head screwed on tight for the next adventure.

I hope everyone had a peaceful Christmas!

Long time gone

2009-12-02T22:08:00.003+02:00

The past few months mark my least productive spell of blogging since I started posting. I started writing around the time I was packing my suitcase and moving here to Finland. I remember my mind being filled, in part, with expectations and, in part, with questions about how things would turn out living and studying in "my other home". I remember that Sept. 1st afternoon when my flight passed right of the center of Helsinki.... there were large fluffy white and gray clouds all over the place... except for the very center of Helsinki. I could see the sun glinting off the top of Tuomiokirkko, I could see people moving around in the market by the harbor, I could see the glittering of the sea water... Somehow, I knew that one way or another things would work out, but I had no idea what was ahead. Sometimes it has been easy to write, to find a topic to share and the time to put it into words, but lately, with life in general, and the massive amount of work I chosen to take on, it has been harder to find the time and sometimes even the energy.

Having said that, time certainly flies when you are having fun. Not that every day has filled with sunshine and roses...there are challenges on the way, and naturally there are walls to climb and storms to weather, but those walls and storms are part of the journey and often pose the question "do you want it?"... when one choses to keep moving forward the answer appears to be YES. With a little perspective, or sometimes maybe a lot of perspective, one can find lessons wrapped up in each one of those challenges. I'm finding that for better or for worse I approach my academics in a similar way as I previously approached my athletics. Sometimes I go too hard because I get excited. I want to find the finish line quickly but since this whole PhD thing is like a ski marathon, it takes endurance. You prep (train) for a looooong time (pre-school, elementary school, junior high, high school and undergrad....) and then you lace up your boots, prep your skis, approach the start line, the gun fires and you go. You plan to have enough fuel in your system to make it to the finish line, and if you don't, you stop for fuel along the way, but somehow or another you make it to the finish line so long as you don't give up.

I can't believe the month of December has started already! For the first time in what seems like months, the sun is shining today. The air is crisp and *almost* cold! The "worst" or busiest portion of the term has passed, and while I suspect I won't get bored over the next weeks before I head State-side for the holidays, I feel like I can sleep a bit easier. Things seem to be getting done and there is even visible evidence (in the midst of a massive project sometimes this evidence is difficult to see)!

This weekend I got a break from the action at school/work with a trip up to Kuusamo with my dad. I sent some posts/updates to skinnyski.com Check it out!

While in Kuusamo I "missed" thanksgiving in a sense. There was no turkey or pie and I missed seeing the rest of my family, BUT I got to hang out with my dad, had good food (reindeer instead of turkey) and had myself a mini-vacation. In addition, as tradition goes, I thought quite a bit about what I am thankful for:
~ My family, here and on the other side of the pond.
~ Good friends on both sides of the globe. The ones close by, the ones farther away even though sometimes weeks and months go between emails, I know they are still there.
~ My health. A little cold here and a little ache here is peanuts to what a lot of people have to live with on a daily basis.
~ Having a home... no, having two. Having a flat, that is a "permanent" place to be and a place that I can go hide or that I can share with friends. I've still got work to do on the place, but I am getting closer!

~Having a job that I enjoy, colleagues that I can call friends and a supportive advisor. These people push me, but allow me to push back, make mistakes and learn on a daily basis.

pätkät

2009-11-03T21:21:00.002+02:00

* The weather is being indecisive... Hovering between -1C and 1C is the crummy part of this time of year. I did get on snow last Friday with a couple friends and had one of the best feeling first skis of winter I can remember =D It was beautiful! I was surprised at how easy and normal skiing felt considering how much training I have done running over the past year. There was just enough snow to take decent (NOT race) skis along, but this indecisive weather just may have done in the trails... and this is supposed to last for at least a week! Maybe this will keep me indoors, hard at work, and safe from:

*The flu..... (seasonal and H1N1 aka "possu"). A number of colleagues have had the flu and one had a confirmed case of H1N1. This would be really BAD timing for me to get sick, though I would not be surprised if I got some bug due to the stressful nature of this time of year (we have an international symposium at the end of this week along with teaching, running a huge project and "adventures" or life away from work...) so I have taken on the role of paranoid colleague. I wash my hands almost obsessively and have been taking special care to eat and sleep like I am training for the Olympics. Today I even made my largest pot full of chicken veggie soup - partly because it will feed me for a couple days, and partly because I am trying to convince myself that a preemptive strike against the little germs that might make me sick will keep me from getting sick (keeping fingers crossed!). As part of my customary weekly update to my research group, I again added a paragraph about eating well and sleeping well and not wanting to see folks in the lab if they have so much as a sore throat or a sniffle (for the sake of our subjects as well as the research team)!

*I have been teaching more or less effectively or successfully... depending on how you look at it. We use different equipment for teaching than for research (older models of machines for the most part), which seems to lead to the "demo effect" (which means things don't calibrate, decide not to work or plan A backfires). The slightly older equipment, if you are familiar with it, is only a small problem, but because I have been using the equipment that we use for research purposes (i.e. the new stuff) I am not as familiar with the quirks of the old stuff. It's a good thing I can think reasonably well on my toes.... plan B is usually not written down, but every student learns at least one thing before they leave... and since I have found that I have a habit of making students DO something, think things through and work together, I figure so far so good. Only 8 more hours of teaching left this term (yay! ~~ I enjoy teaching, but this term was probably not the ideal term for me to start...).

*Flat progress: I have a painted kitchen! It looks much nicer now and I even put up a new curtain. Finishing touches will come later, for the time being it is on to the bedroom where I need to sand and paint... Have filled the holes from previous owners' pictures and posters with plaster... now some cleaning off last bits of wallpaper and then more painting!

*The article has been recommended for publication.. YAY! Now I just have to get it prepared for publication!

That's all for now...

Tunnel Vision

2009-11-01T09:14:00.003+02:00

The sun begins to set around 4pm these days, so it is back to waking up in the darkness to go to work and then leaving work in darkness. Fortunately the window of my office is large and should I actually be doing work in my office (rather than literally running around the lab), I can enjoy a little of the sunlight during the day!

The title of my post comes from my workout last Wednesday.... Despite the current insanity of my workload right now, I am making an effort to keep in some semblance of shape and to maintain some sort of balance in my life. So far, so good, but I know that the current workload is more or less forcing me to walk the line... balance is the key right now.

The darkness that is again settling across the North brings with it the requirement of a headlamp when one is out running/pole hiking on unlit trails so that one can see where to put one's feet. On Wednesday, a good friend of mine and I decided to do some "easy" intervals up the ski slopes in the dark when snow was whirling down from the sky with the north wind. The beam of light from the headlamp created a tunnel vision of sorts. Everything outside of the beam of light was more difficult to see, the edges became darker and blended into the blackness of the starless sky. The whirling snowflakes, clouds of breath, the occasional flash of ski pole and a faint glitter from rocks on the slope were all that we could see while climbing the slopes. There is something exhilarating and mysterious about working-out in the dark. There are no distractions, it's tunnel vision. You have no option but to look forward, to keep your gaze up... I suppose this translates to the current state of life as a PhD student. Most of the time I have my theoretical headlamp on and I am moving forward in the darkness with whirling snow, the occasional slippery rock and flashes of this and that along the way.

*The project is going reasonably well, teaching has begun, I actually felt a bit organized when I left work on Friday (yay!).

*I counted how many people are involved in the project... 30+ (!!) No wonder I've been worn-out and occasionally stressed lately! I coordinate those peeps and 40 some subjects as well as picking up some slack from the project running parallel to mine....

*The article has had final final comments and corrections made (If reviewer #1 is cool with my modifications, article #1 will be DONE for REAL! That means my first first author publication!).

*I have more students - not sure how I became a student supervisor of sorts so quickly, but at least 6 masters' students and 1 bachelor's student are in the three projects that I am more or less involved in... yipes that was quick! Fortunately they are all pretty smart and motivated!

*The work on the flat is crawling right now. I have plans to do some crazy thing in the coming weeks... but we shall see if said plans work out.

*Doing the occasional yoga and circuit class/work-outs nowadays. The yoga mainly for relaxation and breathing purposes... when I get stressed I don't remember to breathe properly. Circuits will hopefully help my back... which is fine, but I think I have a bit of an imbalance that I need to work on...

* Got some snow! Nothing skiable, but at least it has not gone away immediately. I'm getting an itch...

Just a little bit

2009-10-15T21:49:00.002+03:00

*Coaching a couple of weekends ago was great. Rollerskiing and running with a bunch of talented young skiers will probably never cease to bring a smile to my face. I admired these young athletes' attention to training, their confidence and independence, as well as their shy expressions of joy in having the opportunity to participate in such a great sport.

*Project+work is 25/8 (rather than 24/7) right now. We have made some more adjustments along the way but the schedule is still as tight as ever. The easiest way to try keeping up is to just take it one day at a time. I still have teaching, article and presentation preparation in addition to this project before making the trans-Atlantic again for the winter holidays (in MN!). I'm pretty sure I will spend the first couple of days State-side catching up on sleep :). The measurements at the army base went pretty well and as part of the experience our team learned a little bit about how things work within the command structure - a rather exciting and frightening experience if you are not used to having commands shouted at you! Otherwise, although it was technically a "work" trip, we were able to sleep in and we got in a couple good workouts.

* I'm getting closer to the painting phase in my kitchen and my bedroom.... little by little this flat is getting to look nice! I think I will have to invest in a small TV for the sake of watching the Olympics...uhoh... am I folding?

out on a journey

2009-10-01T18:19:00.000+03:00

The autumn winds have brought rain, clouds, thick morning fog and darker and colder nights. The last bits of summer light have slipped away into the bright red, yellow and orange leaves that contrast with a sky that is constantly changing with weather fronts that bring deep grey-blue clouds filled with soaking rains and then crisp blue skies that are alight with sun beams... autumn is here. School is in full-swing. Projects occupy. Papers await writing, correcting, revising... winter seems like it might be on the horizon.

My lack of posting is likely to continue in some fashion for awhile. The project is in full-swing after a lot of work, discussion, revision, improvements and organization. I have been frustrated, elated, contemplative, excited, exhausted, interested... The magnitude of the information/knowledge that this project has the potential to provide is amazing and sometimes overwhelming. The number of working parts is, at times, difficult to keep track of, but so far, so good! I have worked long days - sometimes with joy, sometimes with a bit of trepidation. The forest and a bright sky sometimes seem like a more pleasant setting than a bustling lab.... but the lab is an exciting place to be as well.

The past few weeks of learning and experiencing has not been limited to the lab or even the walls of our department. I spent some time biking with blind athletes a couple weekends ago, have had many a deep conversation, and have witnessed more of the joys and sorrows of human life. I have stared across the colorful landscape from the top of one of our the city ski jumps, curled up on my couch with tea, a book, and the flickering light of candles. I have run in the woods, rollerskied with friends, baked muffins and pies. I have re-arranged my living room, installed a lamp, scraped more wallpaper (tons of it last night) and gone dancing. I've remembered to sit down and appreciate some of the simple pleasures in life including having amazing family and friends. I have admired how people pull together and cooperate to take care of things - from working on projects to making sure a friend in need has something/someone to hold on to.

Tomorrow off to coach (for the first "official" time on Finnish soil). Next week off to do measurements at an army base and plans in the works for painting my bare walls and a mökki weekend in the near future. I cannot believe it is October!

owww.

2009-09-13T19:49:00.002+03:00

I cannot walk particularly well right now. I ran 1/2 marathon yesterday on asphalt (not usually my running surface of choice) and while my heart and lungs were in the game, my legs died on me...hard core. I might have been a bit sloppy in pre-race preparations because of the busy school life including more insane running around the dept (literally - I feel like I am still in grade school because even though we were always told to walk, I sprint through the hallways and take the stairs two at a time). I also got a nice migraine (thankfully of the milder kind) on the Friday night before the race that sapped some of my energy, but with the 16.00 start, sleeping in and getting some of that back was not a problem.

Though I was a bit bummed to run 4 min slower than last year (same course, different conditions = warmer and more humid), it was still a decent race and my placement was even a bit better! It is encouraging to know that I can keep some semblance of "shape" while pursing this degree. We'll see how this transfers to the next race!

Post race we celebrated (for a number of reasons) and had a toast to the upcoming ski season... I'm going to make an effort to get re-involved (or more involved) with the skiing part of my life again. I think taking a step back after my college career was both smart and necessary, but I do miss many aspects of "that life" including coaching (and learning from coaches) and trying to find out every necessary piece of information to put together a good race (or even training session).

Here fishy, fishy!

2009-09-05T14:16:00.006+03:00

My previous post was a little testament to how challenging this PhD life can sometimes be. Sometimes the sailing will be smooth and sometimes there will be rough seas. Though sometimes it seems the winds are blowing too hard and the waves are too big, the lessons that come with the rocky waters, if one can find them, are invaluable if one just gathers them and remembers them next time the winds blow hard. I like the challenges. I love the lessons. I know I'm doing this all for a good reason even though I sometimes wonder about the hows and whys of it all - that is part of striving to be a scientist.

The fishy part:
A month or two ago I got into a random "conversation" with a Finnish friend that started out with his mention of evening fishing and my inquiry as to weather or not any fish had been caught.... Somehow this lead to an inventory of my "Finnish experiences" (everything from folk dancing and sauna to the making and eating of various foodstuffs)... and a decision that the making of kalakukko from scratch must be added to the list (I was able to check off everything from the list provided while the Finn had not yet had a taste of kalakukko - he wanted to remedy his situation and I wanted to add to my list).
Making a REAL kalakukko is a bit labor-intensive... First we got the little fishies (pictured above) and other ingredients from the store... We had to clean the fishies, make the dough, roll out the dough, arrange fishies (with salt and bacon) in the middle of the rolled out dough and then fold the dough over the pile so that the kukko is sealed (thus the juices do not seep out). The kukko finally gets wrapped up in baking paper and foil and stuck in to the oven for about 14 hours.... maybe the hardest part is the waiting... Here is our result (one is cut in the Savo style, the other in the Karelian style):
Quite tasty (and certainly a hearty meal!) I put half in the freezer so I could enjoy some later on.

The grant is done. The project is rolling . I've moved into my new office where I have a view of the road and bike path, some bushes, birch trees and the sky. I'm sleepy and curled up on my couch with a couple of books and a cup of tea =)

Meh.

2009-09-02T22:16:00.004+03:00

My title today is a sound: Get a good lung (or two) full of air... make sure you have a bit of a raspy throat (either you are dehydrated because there is not enough time in the day to remember that drinking water (or something other than coffee) is good for you, or maybe you are getting some autumn flu (hope for the former and bring a water bottle to work tomorrow)). Make sure you feel like there are not enough hours in a day, days in a week or copies of yourself to accomplish everything you "should". Now form the "mmmm" and follow it up with a long and drawn-out "meeeeeeeeeeehhhhh" . There. You have successfully made my "sound for the day".

-To the subject who had agreed to come on the 3rd of September: It's not a Wednesday this year. This year September 3rd is a Thursday. You were not supposed to call me at 7.30 in the morning on September 2nd asking why there was no one in the lab.... because no one was supposed to be in the lab. The machines were not supposed to be on, all of your paperwork was supposed to be tucked away in a folder waiting for your arrival tomorrow, and I was supposed to be working on yet another section of this massive grant I am trying to perfect. I appreciate your eagerness to get started and the fact that you admitted later on that "oops" you were supposed to come tomorrow. I am even more appreciative of the fact that all of the measurements appear to have been executed successfully... but I am not thrilled about the measurements lasting an hour longer than they should have since none of our equipment was warmed up, labs were only partially set up and my colleagues had to be called in at the last minute since they too realized that September 3rd is a Thursday this year, NOT a wednesday. Next time, please consult your calendar and if you "oops" please refrain from calling me when I am standing expectantly in front of my coffee maker with my eyes 5/6 open, an empty coffee cup in one hand and a pen for the grant in the other... you put a massive 4 hour kink in my "system of operation" today that was significant enough that I had to vacate the premises in order to get ANYTHING besides your measurements done today - not kidding.

- To grant writing: You are a beast. I like planning studies, but being limited to 10 pages (including references) is sometimes stifling. Your specific forms and ever changing rules and guidelines keep me on my toes... and sometimes stress me out. You are difficult because you demand a lot and you don't usually give me what I want and the people that read you don't necessarily like you because you are too practical or they are more interested in biochemistry than the methods we gave you.... (Got news today that the previous massive grant I wrote got the good old "no thanks". I saw that coming from 1.6 kilometers away....but still, BUMMER).

- To my dreams (the night time sleepy ones): Not sure what the deal with the "moose on the loose" was...I typically do not wake up with a start with images of a moose running up the stairs into my house. What are you and my subconscious trying to get at? At least you are good for a little laugh...

Tomorrow will be better.

A little bit of that

2009-08-25T20:42:00.007+03:00

Here we go again! The nights are longer (and so are the days). The temperatures are slowly slipping into the realm of chilly and the morning includes a guessing game of whether or not to put on a jacket, or grab a scarf, while downing coffee and getting prepared to tackle the day's tasks. There is mix of summer and autumn in the air. One of the trees that I ran past down by the lake has turned a brilliant yellow and has dropped half its leaves, the trees on the boulevard between me and the office are hinting at a change in seasons, and it seems like I'm embarking on another epic stretch...

We're moving forward at a cautious pace right now in the project, but forward it is. I have enough subjects on my list for us to get down to business with measurements, and rumor has it that all of our equipment is now not only in Finland, but has possibly also cleared customs! I will soon be facing have another bout of forcing myself to get used to needles of different kinds because we will be using microdialysisas part of the current project (in addition to a few other types of needles). I watched the procedure on youtube like I did before we did biopsies... I dare say this procedure makes me more uncomfortable... great. The pilot is on Sept 7... eeep!

My trip to work is about to get a few meters longer. After much discussion, I can go get the keys to my new office as early as tomorrow. I almost have the urge to go "back to school" shopping or something for the occasion... but since binders, paper and writing utensils are provided for our hard working crew, it would be a waste... I guess I could get a candy jar (for bribery purposes of course) or track down some sweet poster...

My first article has been sent back to the journal with corrections and uber polite responses to all the comments from all three reviewers. While I truely appreciate the comments and constructive criticisms offered (because it most certainly made our article better), I am of the opinion that we don't need to be quite THAT overly nice... I'm a nice and polite person as it is, and think the oozing niceness/politeness is a bit much. Oh well, for the first one I chose to pick my fights carefully and follow instructions to a "T" and it's done. I am keeping my fingers crossed that the journal accepts the article so that I can join the ranks on PubMed and GoogleScholar! (whoa, I'm a nerd ;))

Am mid-grant writing again. This one seems to be going in a more laid-back fashion that the first one.. which means either that we are getting lazy or that I'm learning how to write grants (hopefully the latter).. I am also apply for membership at another grad school. No worries, it is supplemental, for the time being I have my feet firmly planted on the soil around here.. it is just one of those learning and networking things.

I tried to follow some of the the IAAF World Track and Field Championships this year. I am without a TV, so this was a bit selective and mostly done via the IAAF website. Then again, I probably would not have gotten so much done had I been glued to the tube watching every waking moment of the competition... A lot of interesting stories out of the championships (records and controversies), here is an article that alludes to most of the action, but can be considered part of the "lighter side" of sports. For a more scientific take on the championships, refer to: The Science of Sport .

A note on this not having a TV thing... Although some younger relatives were appalled that I do not have a TV, really, this is not a catastrophe since: a) it is currently a conscious decision. b) I barely have any time to watch TV c) I feel like MOST of the stuff that is on these days is kinda lame, though it would be nice to catch some documentaries and movies sometimes... and I still enjoy a couple of shows that I usually just bum offline. Right now TV would be a distraction.

I suppose the lower nighttime temps mean I should close my windows....

A little bit of this

2009-08-17T08:57:00.003+03:00

-Some time ago I told my parents that if this school thing doesn't work out I'll go be a Zamboni driver like the guy in this article. It's a technical and hands-on job and a good sheet of ice benefits not only the people skating on it, but also all of those people watching. I'm still considering this an option, there is the perk of being able to watch the games (this is ONLY for the purpose of listening to the sound of the skates on the ice though... right?). Of course there is only one or two teams I would consider offering my currently unacquired skills to. Any guesses for which two they might be?

- We almost have two whole groups of subjects (we need three whole groups for the "perfect" study). I'm sending another mass e-mail to 40 some young men asking for their blood, sweat and tears (we are primarily interesting in the blood, sweat and muscles, of course). Lucky me! For the sake of this study, I hope I get 40 responses back saying "PICK ME!!!" (and they all get brownie points on their final results if they have all the time in the world i.e. no schedule, so they can work into our schedule - wishful thinking, I know!). Things are moving forward at what seems like a snail pace, but I see the start line (FINALLY!)!

- I'm debating whether or not I should propose writing 5 haiku for my PhD rather than articles... I have my doubts this would fly with my boss, but dissertations written in haiku still have some entertainment value.

-Reading about tornados in MPLS... seriously?! Good grief, I hope no one was hurt...

Snow in Jkylä?

2009-08-12T15:42:00.006+03:00

It snowed!

Image captured (terrible quality, my apologies) at about 15:18 today with my cell phone. Ok, clearly I am kidding... Our lab is next door to the the city ice arena and the staff had just re-surfaced the ice and dumped the excess shavings "out back". It also happens to be a coolish and rainy day, so the pile had been there for a few hours. Each time I passed this pile I pondered ambushing my workmates (softly, of course) with snowballs. For a split second (or perhaps multiple seconds) thoughts of impending wintery weather flashed through my brain, and later, while biking to the library I briefly wished for gloves because of the chill and dampness in the air and my surprisingly intolerant hands.... summer isn't over yet though... is it? I'm hoping not! The days are noticeably getting shorter, but daylight still lasts quite long and I still get the morning sun through my bedroom window. Autumn is just around the corner, but I think we still have a couple days of summer in store.

-My advisor reviewed my responses to reviewers concerning my article. It seems we are in agreement that while the journal hinted at major revisions, they really are not that major, and while reviewer "c" must have been crabby, I have to be diplomatic in my responses to him/her (but I will take some artistic license with language...tehee). There is one table that I will re-construct because it seems that if one is not involved in the study it is a bit too confusing (well, considering all three reviewers mentioned in in some fashion.... something should probably be done!). The corrections will be done tomorrow, so if I get the go-ahead from the co-authors I will re-submit early next week. One step closer!

-Project is in a mini-holding pattern with meetings this week (it is action, but I don't feel like it is forward action yet... perhaps we are gaining momentum?), we should be able to get the ball rolling "for real" soon... One thing I already notice about being in a leadership position in this project is that I don't like "people politics". Most folks leave their titles at the door because this is a cooperative project. I think this is healthy to forget the titles so long as everyone holds up their end of the bargain and responsibilities, however, I have already noticed that some folks like to whip out those titles to use against their colleagues (even if those folks are not using their titles). I guess that is part of this business that I have to get used to...

- Have not done much on the flat lately. Little improvements here and there, but it will still take some time still before this place is 100%. The most brilliant thing I have done in recent weeks since getting the walls painted is the updating of my music listening equipment. I have typically just used my ipod and laptop, but I decided that since music is an important part of my being I should make a small investment to have more options (all together now: MP3, USB, radio and CD) as well as better speakers. Ahhh... much better!

Two places at once

2009-08-09T21:45:00.004+03:00

In which we ponder if would be easier if there were two of me, or if I could be in two places at once... In reality, this would probably be terrible, but if one of me could fulfill the expectation of being a workaholic...errr... PhD student (and pay the bills) while the other one could sleep, train, cook amazing food, explore music/photography AND visit family and friends who seem to have spread (or are spreading) around the world... life would be easier, no? I have a perpetual want to be in two places at once... this probably stems from always feeling like I have two homes - a huge blessing and yes, also a curse - if you are in one place, you are not in the other. In terms of working and playing, this all is just a question of time management - something that one can learn and that I am reasonable at. In terms of family, friends, and the hundreds or thousands of kilometers that separate us, this is not so simple....for some reason a trans-atlantic flight, or even a 5 hour train ride to give someone a simple, but meaningful hug is economically, environmentally and practically speaking not such a great idea (even if the thought is). Having written that, it is priceless knowing that there are people also outside of these city limits and the daily grind that are worth a good hug (and so much more). I cannot be in two places at once, but I'll continue using the easiest, most environmentally friendly, and practical ways I know to try and keep in touch with people and to send virtual hugs. Ugh, technology....can't live with it, can't live without it.... but its use almost makes it possible to be in two places at once...

Tomorrow the grind starts... I need to buy more coffee.

Review

2009-08-04T09:15:00.001+03:00

I got my first review back from one of those scientific journals that the lot of us are trying to get published in.... according to the three reviewers my article is either:

a) great, unique study design, well written, just needs a couple of minor revisions

b) needs a bit of work, but good and provides some new perspective

c) terrible, ugly, not worth publishing or even reading and reviewing in its entirety

I was prepared for tough reviews, but admittedly a bit surprised that I more or less got the full spectrum. I definitely appreciate the constructive criticism and different perspectives provided by the reviewers because I recognize that each lab/research group develops a perspective of their own and that some perspectives thus go unnoticed. I think reviewer “c” must have had a bad day/week/month or something though because a full half of his/her questions are addressed in the discussion (where one DISCUSSES the study and subsequent results..). I also think the fact that reviewer “c” did not even bother to review the entire article speaks to his/her weakness/laziness…the again, I guess I wouldn’t finish eating a piece of cake if the first bite is terrible… I do, however, think it is a disservice to a fellow scholar and the field if one chooses not to review an entire article – this is the process by which we all develop and a responsibility that we all have to some degree (whether it is in seminar or reviewing for a prestigious journal). If it is just a question of time, one should not agree to review (though I suppose one might come up against some departmental pressure then….). I’m off to modify my manuscript…

It's been a while...

2009-08-02T11:17:00.010+03:00

...since I posted a blog.

A couple weeks have gone by here easing back into some semblance of "routine" at work. Chaos will ensue soon enough, and I am hoping that I am both physically and mentally prepared for it all. Right now, I'm not so sure. I think the timeline envisioned for what we want to accomplish in terms of the new project is somewhat unrealistic and some "people politics" resulting from lack of communication on part of vacationing peoples has left me in an awkward position that I *think* I am handling with grace, but everything is dependent on perspective. I'm excited to get the ball rolling on this thing, am nervous about execution, and wondering if I should be nervous at all! (Det kommer att ordna sig...right?)

ACADEMIA
A little while ago, another academic female wrote a blog post entitled stop beating yourself up . I thought this was an interesting commentary on women in academia and how it appears that many of us are harder on ourselves than we should be (I know this extends beyond the doors of academia as well). Sometimes it is because our peers or advisors hold us to a higher standard and we still feel like we should go the extra mile, and sometimes it is because our peers and advisors hold us to the same standard as everyone else, but we have learned throughout our life that "good" is not "good enough". I have seen this in academics and athletics (and other life endeavors) and in women of all ages (even in girls in kindergarten who paint a picture and say "this is soooo ugly" or run a race with their friends, are not 1st place and "I'm sooooo bad at EVERYTHING!" - this disturbs me a lot.... If this is their thought process before even hitting up the books in 1st grade, what will they be like in college?!).

This topic has also been a point of discussion amongst a number of my friends (mainly the female ones) who are pursuing advanced degrees. We beat ourselves up too (some more than others, some with more severity than others), but we collectively recognize these traits in ourselves and wonder why it is that women are so hard on themselves (Not that men aren't, I see men beat themselves up too....). I am convinced that it is a learned trait, for me probably from combined competitive athletics and academics. I have always had supportive surroundings, and most of the time, I probably have no good reason to beat myself up (and I embrace the fact that sometimes a little kick in the pants can be a necessary and good thing!). This trait (to beat oneself up) is; however, so ingrained in me that I have had to make a conscious effort to not obligate myself to run the extra mile and to accept too much responsibility. Furthermore, as an analytical person (hello nerdy scientist, me), I have to make a conscious effort not to overanalyze things (something that can manifest itself as "paralysis through analysis" - something talked about quite a bit back in my skiing days). I see myself getting better at all of this (and despite all of this have remained a reasonably (and to some, surprisingly) positive person), but have a sneaking suspicion that I will always feel the urge to go the extra mile (or kilometer at least). Is this being "ambitious" or just plain "crazy"?

SUMMER
Some of the best of Finnish summer has been enjoyed in the past weeks including (mostly) excellent weather which has allowed for lots of running and swimming. Last weekend I ran a half marathon (at training pace) with one of my colleagues/friends (under 2 hours = not bad), we have played games of beach volleyball, have eaten out on the terrace at work and visited the occasional terrace in the city (yes I have some sunburn...). Five kilos of strawberries found their way into my kitchen last week (most are now frozen for the darkest days of winter). There is nothing better than fresh strawberries in the summertime...The Neste Oil Rally Finland weekend is wrapping up right now (as I type - a Finn is holding onto the lead and I am hoping I haven't jinxed his victory!). This year I actually experienced some of the "rallimeiniki" including testing some of the junior drivers on wednesday at our labs, watching the sprints at Killeri on Friday night (saw Kimi Räikkönen - sweet - see picture below) and hanging out a bit in Lutakko (albeit that was for the sun, not the cars). The streets are filled with more people than usual and you have to be really patient if you want service at any eating/drinking establishment.
Climbed up the smaller ski jump at Laajavuori yesterday with a friend to look for the "bon voyage fiilis" (ok we were just out for an exploratory run followed by swimming and gathering of vitamin D). The view and perspective is pretty amazing, but I have to say I have no idea how ski jumpers do it. That's a loooong way down and I'm not even sitting at the top of a big jump!

...and finally, for the lingering meteorology interest in me (I like to check radar), I discovered a website for watching weather systems move through the area: säätutka.

Do you hear what I hear?

2009-07-20T20:04:00.007+03:00

Not much! The department is currently like a ghost town... the erie dust-bunny rolling across the floor doesn't get to happen though because it is also time for the annual deep cleaning of all visible surfaces (which in some profs' offices is pretty near impossible!)... Unless the physiology lab is being used for a treadmill test during the day you can probably hear a paper clip drop from the other side of the building... which on the one hand, is nice, but on the other, it is almost too quiet. July is a time when the majority of folks take their holiday/vacation. I have gone into the office a couple of times for a few hours to get some things done, but for the most part right now I am working from home where school/work related stuff has been interspersed between painting the walls (two layers done!), going on some good runs (the legs are coming back or maybe even there..) and getting some R&R by reading some non-school related stuffs. Cooperative work is difficult to get done when the cooperators are on vacation, so it is a good time to take it easy and let the brain relax for a spell, especially knowing, in part, what's in store come August and the beginning of the fall term! I know my fall term WILL involve overtime (as did the spring), so being a bit lackadaisical right now is ok, and I have permission!

In taking the advice to take some time for myself seriously, my "official, unofficial vacation" days have also included a little bit of city night life (dancing) and some country night life (sauna *sigh* relaxing...) and a lot of hanging out with the cousins and their families when they were in the region (the beginning of last week). "Hanging out" consisted of being climbed on by children (yeah strength training!), some gardening/chopping down old dead bushes in the yard, baking/cooking, a 10km jog to the other sauna with one of the cousins (and sauna-ing of course!), visiting with rellies, relaxing on down by the lake, sleeping in and chit chatting into the wee hours of the morning....

Then in the chronicles of "my family doesn't have a competitive cell in it" (**cough!**) we played a board game, a couple of yard games and (since these didn't satisfy...) we held a small track and field competition consisting of javelin, shot-put, standing long jump, running long jump and 100m sprint.... which was followed up by a 3km (ish?) run and a push-up competition.

Competition report:
Mostly cloudy, occasional light rain, temps "warmish", visibility - as far as anyone could jump or throw a javelin.

Results: The points were not officially tallied as not everyone participated in all the events, the age range was from 7 to almost 70 and the shot-puts we used were something like 3 and 7.5kgs (the only other option was the teenytiny kids shot-put which was probably 1kg if that!). I also get to claim disadvantage in anything sprint/power related because my cousins all have significantly longer legs than me and I have an endurance background... which is one way of saying that I threw about as well as the rest and sprinted/jumped significantly more slowly/shorter distances (aside from the 7 year old, but in jumping she nearly creamed me!). I'll give the cousins those events though, clearly they are better in the REAL track and field events, but when it came down to the endurance run, I was victorious (whew!) and the push-up competition was mine by 9 push-ups (something's left from skiing!).

There was discussion of winter games and having another go at the track and field again next summer (I'm pushing for adding a 10km trail run, but no takers so far....I don't get it!).

Here are some action shots:

Progress

2009-07-10T17:34:00.005+03:00

- My name is finally on the door to my flat, I have new drain-pipe in my bathroom and if I keep at this sanding I should be able to paint the walls of room #1 next week!

-The project I am working in has a study plan now... well, it is still not 100%, because it is so multifaceted and has so many contributors (most of whom are currently on vacation), but it is getting closer. I was allowed to just "have at it" so I added methodology and modified some of the language, we changed the design a little and developed the intro so that everything fits together even better than before. I wash my hands of the plan for a while now and get to focus on thinking of some more brilliant additions/modifications to our next massive grant application... which I was given free hands with as well. I threw an idea "out there" early this week and after about two minutes of watching the forehead of my boss wrinkle in thought he said "Sure. Why not? In fact we could...*insert a few constructive ideas here*...!"

-Finally, my boss told me to take a few days off. Take some vacation. DON'T do work. Yessir! No arguments here. This either means that a) literally almost everyone else is on vacation, so some stuff just can't get done so I should go on vacation too b) the boss if feeling generous c) the boss thinks I look tired (and possibly felt sorry for me when I returned from the conference with a wicked cold), understands that sometimes one needs to recharge the batteries and can see that my motivation is currently floundering (haven't had more than a couple days off since Xmas) d) all of the above. When in doubt, the answer is D. Looks like I will be heading back to the mökki! Schweeeet!

What is happening to education?

2009-07-09T23:01:00.004+03:00

It's official, I get to be a teacher. The class is listed in our online registration system and sooner or later I will have lesson plans, grading and all of that fun stuff too! As part of my duties as a PhD student, I get to be a teacher. I'm excited... and already debating how tough of a teacher I should be. Do I put in an extra 10% of my energy and hold my students to a higher standard... or do I just "get it done" like "the rest"?

I've had a handful of teachers from my very first day of school who encouraged me to hold myself to a high standard, to do quality work and keep learning/discovering/developing. This has, at times, of course, been the source of stress/anxiety/sleep loss, but has also helped me to accomplish things and to sometimes even be proud of my work. I find that it is the teachers who held me to a low standard or no visible standard were the ones I never really liked. It was the ones who gave me a kick in the pants if I was lazy/sloppy that were my favorites and that I remember with gladness to this day.

Here's my beef: I feel like many students (from primary school through university) are progressively being held to a lower standard the world over. This is upsetting... What is happening to education? Education is highly valued in many cultures and is required for many jobs these days, but the standards are slipping (along with recommendations for daily exercise... are we getting progressively more lazy!?).

I have never witnessed a student fail... and I am not sure this is a good thing. I have witnessed students plagiarize (intentionally and unintentionally), turn in work weeks or even months late, cheat on exams (take-home), and turn in work that has been deemed "the worst I have ever read" by a professor... and they have all passed. Either their academic transgressions were forgiven, they went genuinely unnoticed, or worse yet, they went intentionally unnoticed. Theses students have gotten diplomas, Bachelor's Degrees and Master's Degrees. They have gone off into the world holding more or less the same papers that I have, and while I realize that actions speak louder than the words on those pieces of paper, I can't help but feel a pang of jealousy. Why do students who fail to meet requirements pass, and why to the ones who eeek by get the same recognition as the ones who literally put their blood sweat and tears into their work (of high quality)?

A friend of mine posted on this topic some time ago describing the issue from Canada, I have witnessed the same in the US, and while I would like to exalt the education system I am currently anchored in (Finland's educational system has been referred to as the envy of the western world and has pretty consistently been ranked high by the OECD...). It happens here too.... and I have a sneaking suspicion that this will come to haunt us (again, the world over) in years to come.

One of the issues behind lower standards is that every university needs students to graduate. Good graduation rates = good reputation = more students = more tuition/more funding from the government = jobs for university folks..... I don't think that many teachers intend to lower their standards, but it seems that, in some respects, it has become a necessity to take it easy on students because graduation rates are our measure of "success", not the amount that students actually learn. Too bad that "success" is coming at the expense of quality education and that this habit of lowering the standards seems to be contagious.

My plan is to be tough. I hope that it is not necessary to fail someone, but I can assure you I won't give out a B just for class participation and if student X gives me nothing, student X will get nothing (a "0" or an "F") in return except for an invitation to join me again next year (should I teach the same course)... and as a teacher, I'm going to make sure the students learn something rather than just showing up and going through the motions.

Here it is!

2009-07-08T21:03:00.002+03:00

Here is the video from Jukola (the massive orienteering race)... cool, eh?

(Not the highest of quality...I'm an amature)

Been a long time gone

2009-07-06T21:57:00.005+03:00

Well summer seems to have come and gone. After some really warm (even hot) temps in Oslo and some of the same here in central Finland, the thermometer went and showed a toasty 6C on Sunday night (and below freezing elsewhere). I have been here and there and everywhere since getting back from Oslo and as a result and spent (had a wicked cold last week) and in need of some cardiovascular exercise. (Which sounds contradictory, I know...)

In terms of the working life I got a few nice "surprises" with regards to time tables and revising of research plans (this irks me because I was trying to be proactive about these things a month ago and the rest of the research group was not ready..... I will refrain from venting here.). Anyway, last week I was to have two days of vacation, but it turned into two days of half vacation...so I played hooky from work on Monday... oops. A girl's gotta do what a girl's gotta do to get vacation (read: leave the city!).

Last Wed I participated in the traditional (I am one of the rookie first-timers) "heavy competitive actions and eating ourselves silly" mökki päivä at the beautiful cabin my boss owns... in which we discover that I am terrible at throwing darts, I am reasonably good and throwing balls towards targets, I am less than good at rowing in a straight line when it is windy and I am darn good a sprinting up a long set of stairs with buckets of water in hand (without spilling ridiculous amounts).

Despite spending the morning working on Thurs (planned vacation day #1), I made it to our family mökki for a sauna and Finnish crepes (fried on a pan over the fire). Then Fri (planned vacation day #2) after working in the morning while on the bus to Helsinki I had a wonderful time in the city (aside from those darn seagulls... I made a "tourist mistake" and forgot to be aware of the little beasts when I bought a sandwich and the sneaky and bold critters stole an olive from it. I know better than to walk with food in my hand in the harbor!). The weather in the city was a bit cool and breezy, but the sun was warm and the company was great. The rest of the weekend festivities included my cousin's wedding, another evening at the sauna eating letut and otherwise hanging out at the mökki.... not bad :)

From Oslo

2009-06-29T22:18:00.001+03:00

International Congress #2 is successfully under the belt. My presentation was held on the last day in the last time-slot possible in a small room that was a bit out of the way in terms of the main congress action. A surprising number of people showed up and filled the space provided (standing room only!). I presented the long version of the marathon project this time - well received, good questions and some nice feedback afterwards.

Again, I was impressed and inspired by the presentations and the presenters at this congress. I learned about new methods and novel findings and developed my some more ideas of my own. Some of the most interesting lectures for me this time were related to XC skiing and being that this congress is in Norway, there was no lack of references to skiing (and of course I made one too!!). I will probably write a blurb about this in the near future...

Questions
During my first congress and most of the seminar/intensive courses we have had here, I have not been big on asking questions. I always have questions about results and study design or something, but I usually don't ask (rather I find my way to google). Lately though I have been surprising myself and speaking up. I've spit out a few questions during lectures from visiting profs to our department, and in Oslo I questioned the reliability of some presented results because the topic was related to hormonal response and the group of subjects contained both men and women (which, in my opinion, is a no-no when you're studying hormonal responses since there's not a level playing field to start with!).

In addition to the lectures, I again met a lot of researchers from all over the place. I strengthened some ties with other researchers in Finland (a bit ironic that it happens more abroad than here at home) and connected with some folks from previous adventures. I found that Oslo is a pretty sweet city. I enjoyed walking all over town at various hours of the day (and night), going swimming in the lake and in the sea. =)

A midsummer night's sauna

2009-06-21T23:00:00.003+03:00

After baking in the hot sauna for a spell, I headed outside to stare at the light-blue midsummer sky and to cool off in the night's air, and I think to myself: What drives us here? Explaining sauna to a "non-believer" is like talking to a rock. They just don't get it. Why would you go sit in a wooden box filled with hot air and steam... and furthermore, why would you do it naked? Then, what's with this shocking the system by jumping into an ice-cold lake or turning on the shower as cold as it will go? I can still see steam rising from my skin. We bake ourselves. We think of it as cleaning and relaxing... it is, but really, we're baking ourselves, steaming ourselves... and we think this is FUN! Some people think we are totally off our rockers. I stand up to head back into the sauna, to beat myself with birch branches... steam still rising off my skin into the midsummer night's air. Then there's this birch-branch thing... we say it stimulates circulation, relaxes the muscles, makes us sleep better... but some folks must think we are barbaric... or maybe just a bit sadistic... I climb up onto the top bench. I guess that just means more space in the sauna for me! I can let weeks worth of physical and mental work slough off with my sweat, get massaged out of my muscles and drip into the floor drain... out of sight, out of mind. Then I can refresh myself with a cool shower and breaths of fresh air from outside (and maybe a sip of juice or beer afterward).... and get ready for more physical and mental work.

I'm a sauna fan. I like 'em hot. Wood-burning stoves are great, electric gets the job done. I'll take one by a lake, river or sea any day, but a shower in the vicinity does the trick as well. Explaining sauna to my peers when I was young was always "interesting". It is somewhat of a challenge for my peers to understand the what and the why, and I dare say that some of my teachers were a bit misinformed on what exactly this whole sauna thing is all about... but a good sauna experience is worth a thousand words... or none for that matter....

Juhannus

2009-06-20T23:07:00.002+03:00

Every year about this time, Finland shuts-down and goes on holiday (has a big party). It is midsummer/midsommar/juhannus. It is approximately the longest night of the year (more or less...Juhannus needs to be on a weekend these days for a number of reasons!). The majority of Finns head off to eat, drink, sauna (maybe swim) and be merry. The Juhannus kokko (bonfire) is traditionally built close to a lake and everyone has a good excuse to stay up late (and maybe to sleep late the next morning too).

I've disappeared behind the forests in the countryside again. The thought of being in the city over Juhannus makes me cringe (I only have visions of lakes, a hot sauna and fooood!).

Yesterday we (my seester, her husband and Uncle) plunged into the forest in order to get some birch branches (or small birch trees) to put at the doors of each of the buildings here (the two adult-sized mökkis, the kid-sized mökki (play house) and the big farm house). The story behind the tradition (as far as I can tell) is to bring summer even closer to the home. Here is the bunch fastening the branches to the top of my Uncle's car (not to worry, we were just a few kilometers away and the roads we traveled are not high-traffic so this is totally safe!):

...and examples of the branches being put up in front of each house/mökki (this is the kids' little play mökki):

In the evening/night, the rellies and some friends, my sister, her husband and I headed to "the other" rantasauna that is in the family for the typical Juhannus hanging-out, saunaing and eating. Then today continued with more food and being reasonably (or perhaps unreasonably) lazy.

Holidays like these have their plusses and minuses... In my haste to get to Toivakka on Thursday night (had to be in the lab until just after 7pm), I forgot my running shoes, so my footwear has been limited to rainboots, which thankfully are wicked comfortable, but are NOT conducive to running. I had brilliant plans for getting in some kilometers after a crazy week of adventures in the lab, making use of new PowerPoint skills (and debating color schemes with my boss and colleagues) and in being a homeowner with an ooooold fuse box (had to go to the hardware store to buy fuses rather than flipping a switch...the things we learn!). At least the cousins' kidlings provide some strength training of sorts since I sometimes double as a jungle gym. :)

It's just a couple of days before I set my coordinates to Oslo! I'm really looking forward to seeing the European congress scene as my first (and so far only) international congress was State-side... it doesn't hurt that the congress is in a city that I have long been wanting to visit and that one of my awesome cousins lives in! Before going, a bunch of us PhD students are getting together to share our presentations, I'll probably get a final comment or two from my advisor, I need to pack (eep!).... I was also asked to translate an Informed Consent and minutes from an ethical committee meeting from Finnish into English by Monday, "if possible". Well, it is possible. Aside from some medical terminology (including titles of different medical professions) throwing me for a loop, the work is going surprisingly fast (but c'mon it IS a holiday weekend!! We'll see if it is good to go on Monday - I made a promise to not stress about it).

Tomorrow mass karjalan piirakka baking for my cousin's wedding - thus I am off to the land of dreams!

TABLE

2009-06-17T19:44:00.006+03:00

- Got my dinner table! For the love of technology (go back and read that in an exasperated tone... NOW you can continue reading...)!! My table, the one that I ordered because I had no kitchen table, the pretty oak table that I have patiently waited for.... is finally in my flat and ready to be eaten at! Apparently it has spent the better part of the last two weeks sitting in the warehouse because the text-message that was sent to inform me of its arrival did not make it to my phone. (Often when packages either from the store or from the post-office need to be picked-up one gets a text-message these days). I figured I would give the store a few days on top of their ETA of the table before calling to harass them not knowing that the table arrived earlier than expected. I called them today to find that the table has been waiting for me too! Oops. I am glad it is finally home where it belongs and looking forward to eating meals at the table rather than my desk, sitting on the couch, a stool or standing at the kitchen counter (or gathering around my bed-frame with friends the first night I was here - yay moving day!).

- There is slow progression on the walls. Work has been reasonably busy, so wall-prep for painting is happening in little bursts... i think eating dinner tonight (at my table!) will happen before going to town with the sanding.

-The words "PhD student" might appear next to my name on the "staff" website/contact info in the near future! Nevermind that I have been acting as a PhD student since January (arguments exist for last fall as well to a certain extent...). That is politics and paperwork for ya. I am just wondering where the official "start" to being a PhD student is in my academic career. Does it start from getting studying rights, the first press-release in which I was named among the PhD students or...? It has been bugging me a bit lately that I am "just" named as a research assistant. My sister says that Research Assistants (my current title) do all the work and that being a PhD student has no relation to the amount of work you are doing (sorta). In my lab if you are "just" a research assistant you probably get paid less and (if you are like me), work a lot. I know that research assistants are generally hired because they have technical skills and can actually work in the lab (and thus they are very valuable), but in my lab having PhD student next to your name is a plus, so I am looking forward to officially gaining that title.

I somehow got it in to my head

2009-06-13T07:44:00.015+03:00

that THIS was a good idea:
Jukolan Viesti (or Venlan Viesti for the women)
Maps lined up for the mass-start (I ran leg two)
Ready, set, GO!!!!!
The "k-piste" or place where you actually start orienteering from....and plunge (quite literally) into the woods.

I previously mentioned that i have been "dabbling" in orienteering, but in reality, the word "dabbling" might not be the correct descriptive... I decided to throw myself into one of the largest orienteering races in the world with a group of skiers from my ski club after an e-mail that we got last year asking if anyone would be game for the experience. My response? Why not?!

Our team's collective orienteering experience is relatively limited.... most of us had some experience in school (the ones who grew up in Finland more so than myself), and we have all participated to some degree in the evening orienteering "time trials" (unsuccessfully, successfully and semi-successfully -- we have had at least one of each so far this year). On the plus side though, we are all in reasonable shape (thank you skiing background!), and that is important if you plan on slogging through swamps, running up hills, sliding down hills on your bum, climbing over rocks and jumping in streams all in search of those white and orange orienteering controls and their electronic timing system little friends (emit cards). Our goal was to find all the controls and to get complete the relay with only one mass-start (if a teammate gets lost/is too slow, subsequent racers are required to start in a mass-start in order for them to complete their part of the race).

I'm not sure why, but this has the potential to become an addiction. I'm not exactly great at finding controls yet (get darn close, but have definitely had luck on my side more than once), but I am enjoying learning new strategies/tactics and getting more experience... that, and an event of this proportion (see picture below of literally thousands of spectators and competitors... this thing is broadcast on television and radio and takes approximately 4 years of planning!) is hard to not get fired up and competitive =)

Besides that, the amenities were pretty sweet... the saunas were THIS big:

My seester is here in Finland helping me some with the wall-paper mess... which in the main room has turned more into sanding and spackling adventure... and will (hopefully) before Juhannus mean PAINTING. I have my fingers crossed!

Will try posting a video of the start of the men's relay when I have more bandwidth to play with. It was.... AMAZING.

The wallpaper war

2009-06-07T22:46:00.003+03:00

continues:

but I am winning! The sanding part of things looks like it might end up being a nightmare though. I gave the sander a test-run on a small patch today and to call it dusty would be an understatement. I'd best figure out how to get my vacuum cleaner hooked up to that sucker...I mean the sander.

Orienteering try #2 of last week went reasonably well. We found all of the controls, the only problem was that we let our VO2maxes get the best of us. Lesson learned: if you are searching for controls in the woods with a compass, read your map, use your compass and don't get overly excited and run 300m past where your control is located... Ran some threshold intervals on Friday and have this strange athlete-like feel. We'll see what happens with that!

Saturday I spent at a Special Olympics Finland track and field event. Our ski club signed up to help facilitate the event, so I spent the day in the rain, hail, wind and cold measuring discus, shotput and javelin. It was great =). I love watching athletes give their best. Some folks were out just to try new events, others had been training hard, EVERYONE was have a great time. I'm just a little sad that the event was so small and poorly attended, but glad I got a chance to participate and cheer on the athletes.

Off to sleep! Next week = eye exam (so see if I can still see), more wallpaper, preparations for Jukola, lab measurements, seminars, working on something brilliant for the new grant and preparations for Oslo! mmmm.. I am sure looking forward to that cup of coffee tomorrow morning!

ritun remontti

2009-06-03T23:10:00.002+03:00

Three days in my new flat... and not completely unpacked. The wallpaper tearing off that I (and some of my amazing friends) started is well on its way (one wall at a time). The 6-7 layers of peeling wallpaper was such a depressing sight that I decided that it has got to go...and pronto. I am armed with a scraper and some water (it appears that all the adhesive is water soluble, thank goodness!) and a hand-held power-sander to even things out a bit (getting advice from my very capable and experienced renovator colleagues). My painting supplies are lined up and ready to go...if I can only get this darned paper to GO AWAY (6 layers? Really?). Progress has been made since this photo was taken Monday night:

The goal is to have a bare wall by Sunday so maybe I can commence painting soon! It is definitely a bit strange to be a "homeowner" with things to fix and take care of... it is no longer a quick phone call to maintenance. I'll be learning as I go.

Other flat news (this will be a theme on my blog til the work is done):
- I am kitchen table-less until the beginning of next week. I found one that is essentially THE perfect size for my kitchen that is made of oak. I'll just have to oil it (for the sake of longevity).
- Almost all lamps are installed (thanks to one of my capable colleagues). Something interesting to note is that lamps usually go with the owner here. I don't quite get it...
- Speaking of not quite getting it.. the bathroom mirror/medicine cabinet of very generic make left with the previous owner as well. I found tile mirrors as a replacement since I find it a bit unnerving to not have a mirror in the bathroom. Who takes a generic medicine cabinet with them? Sentimental value?

Other random:
- Went orienteering with some friends yesterday. We took an "intermediate" course and only made it through about 1/3 of it in almost 2 hours... and not for complete lack of map and compass skills (none of us is a pro, but we're reasonably bright people) and most certainly not for lack of fitness. An orinteerer guy who was on the advanced course ended up looking for common control with us (he was just a little frustrate ), and a good chunk of folks had to quit. Maybe I'll have a go at another course later this week...

Seek and you will find

2009-05-31T22:56:00.001+03:00

"Seek and you will find"

These are words found in graduations speeches the world over...

"This is just the beginning..."

As cliche as these words can come across, they are true. Seek and you will find, and every "end" does seem to be a new beginning....

As a student, a scientist, a periodic grant - writing machine, a generally curious person... my everyday life is full of searching. Even when I am out on a run my eyes take in the lake and the forest trees, they take in the flight of birds, analyze the technique of the guy rollerskiing past and examine the ground for things that might cause me to stumble or trip. Sometimes the "what I am searching for" is easy to spot, sometimes it is excruciatingly difficult to find even the slightest idea of which direction to go in... but seek, and you will find. Without seeking... you there isn't even a possibility.

"Graduation" (or "Promootio") two weekends ago was really beautiful. I participated in garland binding on Friday night and the procession/conferment of degrees on Saturday. Sunday (and Thursday) I enjoyed coffee and treats with my family. A second "graduation" of sorts occurred for our faculty master's programmes on Monday. I got a beautiful velvety red rose from my department as well as a hug and a few handshakes. It's rather strange to have the ceremonies so many months after actually getting my papers, but nice to finally celebrate the degree as well. I guess I never really celebrated getting my master's done since its completion and the start of this (sorta) PhD thing overlapped. Though this graduation comes in the middle of things, it also marks a lot of new beginnings. Among other things, I moved into my flat new flat today, got halfway settled and started ripping away the wall paper... and had dinner with friends (the couch and bed serving as my dining room furniture since I have no table).

The dynamic world that is my current academic life is evolving and changing again. New ideas and renewed cooperation have the potential to modify and strengthen my original plan(s). I'm in a somewhat unique position with so many options before me right now. In part, the almighty Euro still gets significant decision-making power, but it's up to me to "sell" the ideas. I've gotten feedback on some of the previous rejected grants and have formulated some ideas for making the next grants irresistible (of course the beauty of study plans is in the eye of the reader... the biochemist, the cardiologist and the politician read through different lenses).

It was 27 today - lots of moving and sweating, I'm pooped, so that's it for the time being..

continuation

2009-05-20T21:00:00.004+03:00

Behind the trees and gathering clouds the sun is setting in big city Toivakka. I am waiting more or less patiently for my parents to arrive after delays at airport #1 (something about unscheduled flight maintenance) which, of course, means missed connections, waiting, and later than planned arrival... food and a ready bed await them!

It has been another less than complete work week. Between Easter, Vappu, our resa till Sverige, Helatorstai tomorrow (Ascension Day in English) and this whole finding a flat and getting everything set for moving, there have been few "normal" 5-day, monday-friday work weeks in the past two months. In terms of hours this means nothing since more than a few evenings and/or weekends have been spent in the lab and thus make up for any possible "debt" that could have resulted from flat-finding excursions (holidays and planned trips with the department cannot count against me!).

This weekend is "graduation". Unlike in the US where a big graduation ceremony is held every year, graduation ceremonies are only held approximately every 4 years here. I got my papers in January, but on Saturday I will participate in the actual graduation and my faculty will have a "graduation" for students in International Master's Degree Programmes on Monday. I have to admit it is a little strange to participate in these events since I am used to graduation being a final event after which you move on and away. After high school graduation (caps, gowns and close to 500 students) I left home and spent most of my next four years in a different town (and some time in a different county) completing my Bachelor's Degree. Upon completing my Bachelor's Degree (more cap and gown and a large bunch of students) I spent a few summer months at home, then packed my bags and moved even farther away to write my Master's Degree. The Master's is done and I am staying here with my PhD plans made and no intention of leaving before they are done (barring any unforeseen circumstances)... so it feels strange to have one of those "final events" here in the middle of everything. It will be interesting to see the differences in graduation traditions... already I know that the ceremony here is much more formal and an even bigger celebration (and I don't mean party) of academic achievement... I might get back to this later.

Otherwise it's>
+ Back to grant-writing (get this, we have an entire 4 months to write the next BIG one!)
+ Pondering the writing of the next 1 or 2 marathon related articles (have to take a look at the data and the division of groups before I know how many to write, the data is almost all collected!)
+ Planning the project that will take me from mid-year to at least the end of the year.
+ Packing... Just over a week till I am moving... have packed a teeeny tiny bit, but should probably really get on that, and soon!

I have a sneaking suspicion I will be MIA for a bit after this post....

Twenty Four

2009-05-17T09:45:00.007+03:00

...a few days late!

Another year behind and another year closer to the "quarter life". One year older, hopefully one year wiser ;-)

My birthday was spent walking around sunny Stockholm as part of our department's (PhD Students, Profs, instructors, technical staff and secretaries) spring "team building" or "rejuvenation" field trip. What a beautiful city and excellent weather! I know that genetically I should be predisposed to not liking Sweden/Swedes, but I have to admit that Sweden too is a beautiful country, and I do have a fair number of Swedish friends (who I enjoy as much as my friends of other nationalities)... though I will never cheer for Sweden in hockey. That is just a given! :)

Our group visited the King's palace where we had a guided tour in addition to our own curious exploration. The rest of the day was spent walking and shopping (making use of lite Svenska which I have not used in quite some time..), while the evening/night was filled with lots of laughs and dancing almost til sunrise =) An exhausting trip... but well worth it!

Now it's back to writing (report, the big autumn project study plan and article ideas...), packing to move, and more measurements in the lab...LOTS of them.

Taas kevät sadet...

2009-05-11T22:57:00.005+03:00

The end of a school year, the late spring, always brings winds of change and soaking rains. The past week has been filled with the winds of change... and while the rains from the sky have been reasonably minimal, and more or less evenly divided by bursts of brilliant sunshine, the more philosophical rains have been bordering on torrential.

We have said goodbye and good luck to two amazing colleagues - one to completing his PhD and the other to another job that will find him occasionally visiting, but otherwise outside of our daily grind and coffee breaks. In reality, we all avoided an actual goodbye... rather we said "see you" in hopes that future endeavors in our scientific community would bring us together at conferences and congresses. We spoke of the potential for future cooperation knowing that our time spent together (however short or long, depending on the colleague) was valuable and that we learned a lot both with each other and from each other. My time here, though relatively short in comparison to the majority of my colleagues, has been enriched by the many people that I have been able to cooperate with and learn from... on the days when the work I am to do is not so exciting, I look forward to going to showing up at the University because of my colleagues/friends.

The winds of change bring new and exciting things as well. The rains wash away the dust left over from winter and the land is beginning to blossom with color... new ideas and projects are developing, we are moving on, and moving forward. The warm breeze of summer is almost here. It is the bittersweet springtime, part of that natural cycle of life.

Mother's Day

2009-05-10T21:54:00.003+03:00

Sweater, noun: garment worn by child when its mother is feeling chilly.
Ambrose Bierce

...and later on in life (along with scarves, hats, mittens, leg warmers), a garment worn by child (even all grown up) because child is feeling chilly!

HAPPY MOTHER'S DAY!
To my Mother, Grandmother and Godmother (and all Mother's)!

Theory of language?

2009-05-04T00:03:00.001+03:00

In my class on the "theory of knowledge" we have discussed realism and anti-realism in many contexts... Does truth only exist within the mind and language or does it exist outside of these as well?

This discussion sparked some interesting thoughts in my head because of the "language issues" in my life. As one of the few bilingual children in my elementary school there were things that existed in my "other language" that did not exist for monolingual children simply because they did not have the vocabulary for those ideas, existences or truths to be "real". As a result, I think relatively early on I realized that there are truths and realities that I cannot grasp because I don't have the tools for understanding absolutely everything. My language(s) and background "limit" my understanding to some degree, but on the other hand I believe that this has also stimulated my desire to learn to some extent as well.

I guess this philosophical thought also leads me to a minor gripe about my academic life as a "not so international international student". Most everything (my name and citizenship) would suggest that I am perfectly capable of communicating in Finnish... which in many respects, I am. BUT, I am much more skilled in oral communication (though public speaking in Finnish, as I found out today, is not something I am particularly fond of) than written communication and my English is just better (perhaps because it has been the main language of my academic life with Swedish, German, French, Russian and Spanish following in importance (as they relate to my learning) in that order... Finnish has recently edged out Swedish...). My emails written in Finnish typically get passing grades, but ask me to write something academic and I'm toast. Ask me to give a presentation on the theory of knowledge as it relates to the biology of physical activity and I am reduced to a pile of uncertain word forms and halting academic thought (not that it would be a whole heck of a lot prettier in English as this is not really my "research area"). Use of languages is like strength in that if you don't train, you don't get stronger or, worse yet, atrophy starts! I haven't had much training, and have had even less coaching in Finnish writing or public speaking, so it is no wonder that my writing and public speaking skills are not great, but this bothers me anyway. I feel kindof "stupid" (for lack of a better term right now) asking lecturers in the classes that I am taking in Finnish to allow me to complete my written work in English (especially since I usually ask in reasonable enough Finnish... and explain that I am a not so international international student)...

This month is going to be pretty close to epic, but ooh it is going to be a good month!

Another new month

2009-05-02T20:18:00.001+03:00

MAY DAY! A couple of days later that is... Again the holiday dawned sunny and blue skied with t-shirt temperatures and a strong enough sunshine to give me a mild sunburn (but the ice is not totally out on the lakes and there are still some piles of snow in the woods). In part I participated in the normal student festivities beginning on the 30th, but before embarking on any celebrations, I had some major business to take care of with my dad... and since May Day is a bank holiday/school holiday/just about everyone holiday and my dad's flight back to MN leaves tomorrow, it was a race against the clock. Fortunately, I won the race against time (and I have met probably the best real-estate agent and a comparable banker in the city! ) and barring any surprises, I'll be moving into my own flat about a month's time. =) There's quite a bit of work to be done before moving and more to follow moving, but my new location will be more central to my daily activities and I'm looking forward to not throwing rent money around (not that my new living arrangement is cheaper, but it is an investment, so there should be a return on it at some point).

The past weeks have been a whirlwind of searching, working and trying to take strides forward. My first scientific article is finally submitted for review so I am keeping my fingers crossed that I get good feedback and of course that the article is accepted for publication. Otherwise, I am beginning the transition to a new project that is closer to my heart (though the subject population I will be dealing with rather acts as a disguise to what I'll be trying to get at - ya just gotta know what I am looking at!). The project that I have been participating in since the beginning of the year will continue (and I will still have some duties to fulfill in it), but it is "only" a strength project (no endurance), and is already in the care of two PhD students, so it is time for me to move on (and get more responsibility, yay!).

The trauma from muscle biopsies has faded... I was even able to take pictures of the biopsies this past week! Apparently if one is able to approach one's fear on their own terms (little by little, getting the procedure explained thoroughly by a kind and gentle doctor, watching youtube videos and not being pressured) it is easier to get over it (not that I am rah-rah-needles or anything... but I don't get light-headed when I watch a needle getting stuck into someone anymore... I even watched on of our subjects get blood taken from back of his hand...yikes!)

Went out for the longest run so far this year... just shy of 1.45 on the trails, we'll see how that feels tomorrow! My knee is not 100% yet, but I'm still working on it. I think that I'm a biomechanical piece of work right now (seems like things are a bit out of whack in my stride and I am compensating.... it's a mell of a hess, but some strength training (shhhhhhhh! DON'T tell) and paying more attention as I run and I think it'll work itself out).

That's all for now...

Lifelong learning

2009-04-23T13:19:00.000+03:00

In recent months I have come in contact with a couple of intelligent, experienced and well-respected individuals who are making visits to this country and University that I'm in. These people have been sources of knowledge and advice (both good and bad) and are probably meant to be role models of sorts... but I get the sense that some of them have been in fast-paced academia (and life, for that matter) for so long that they have stopped allowing themselves to be students... and this worries me. Five, ten or fifteen years from now will I be so deep into research and work that I will not see the sun through the trees, hear music in the breeze, or find interest in an article that is not in my "area of expertise"? Shouldn't we be lifelong learners?

Many of the individuals that I hold the highest respect for crave knowledge and new experiences, however small and seemingly insignificant. They listen to new ideas (that doesn't mean they agree with them) and open their eyes every morning and see the world around them. They examine the old with new lenses and still seem to feel the earth changing beneath their feet even though it may look the same. They are lifelong learners. They know that even though they are already brilliant, there is still something "out there"... other perspectives, new experiences, something to learn... Some of these people are just children, others are in their 20s, yet others have lived past 100 years of age... and they never stopped learning or trying to understand the world (and all that it entails) around them.

Sure, everyone gets in a rut. Sometimes work becomes monotonous, we get jaded, we develop tunnel vision... or get distracted from the bigger pictures laid out before us... but it is good to remember, or be reminded... Last weekend I admired the awe in the eyes of my 15 month old Godson as he made up his own little games and ran around the house, played with puzzle pieces, discovered legos, turned brooms into hockey sticks or observed others' facial expressions -his excited little surprised gasp, sparkling eyes and smile when he heard the noise of a bus driving by or the doorbell ringing when his sisters returned home from school -his laughter when falling on his bum after a first attempt to walk on a bouncy mattress -his gradually forming words and reaching hands used for communication.

He made me think about striving to look at the world with fresh eyes and trying to keep some sense of that interdisciplinary/liberal arts education going... no matter how deeply absorbed I get into my own work, I should always try on a new pair of lenses and come up for some fresh air/new perspectives.

Here's a link to a great article about Pancakes (well, not just pancakes... check it out!): Pancakes Pancakes

Searching

2009-04-13T15:45:00.002+03:00

I am searching...
-For answers to all sorts of questions (this will never end....and the topics are numerous!).

-For a flat (soooooon! - Must figure this whole --living-as-an-adult-because-I-am-no-longer-eligible-for-student-housing-and-should-probably-have-my-own-place-anyway--- thing out...)

-Time. The weeks ahead are going to be packed... It will be interesting to see how this all pans out!

I have found...
-Rain boots (of good (Nokian) Finnish quality). The thoughts of how dorky rain boot wearing was in my youth has grown into an appreciation of being able to slog through puddles and mud while maintaining dry feet (this is, of course, not necessarily necessary if the topic is trail running or otherwise purposeful running in the rain!). Now if only those April showers would wash away the last of winter! (Really, any day now would be fine, this below freezing weather has got to go!)

- An orchid - a late Christmas present from my cousin and her family. I have admired orchids from afar and took care of some for a good friend of mine who lived across the hall from me when I lived in Sweden, but my moving around has deterred me from getting one until now (no need to have a beautiful plant become miserable).

right-o, back to work... perhaps a post on "knowledge and language" in the near future.

Easter!

2009-04-12T09:05:00.003+03:00

Before I embarked on this whole sport (science and participation) thing, I sang in choir (school and church), was in musicals and plays, dabbled in recorder, handbells, orf instruments, violin and flute (choir and violin were my favorite of these). In practice, I was more of a musical person. Now (likely as a result), I associate music/songs with different events and times periods of life, and certain songs bring back memories and feelings of times long in the past. When a new song catches my ear, I usually remember quite a bit of it after hearing it only once or twice... when I hear the strains of an old song, the words come back to me, the notes often fall into place. This time of year always seems to be full of music, maybe it's the result of awakening after a long winter... Two songs in particular have been playing in my head...

1. John Rutter's For the Beauty of the Earth

For the beauty of the earth,
For the glory of the skies,
For the love which from our birth,
Over and around us lies.

2. George Freiderick Handel's Messiah (A piece that, with a big organ and a large crowd, will send chills up your spine every single time you hear it, guaranteed.)

With that, Happy Easter!

big city

2009-04-09T20:26:00.003+03:00

*I awoke to snow this morning. It was coming down hard enough and in large enough flakes that the farm buildings "next door" were just fuzzy redish figures, the trees were soft coated green and grey outlines, the land was entirely silent... The snow had accumulated enough to erase any marks of the footsteps I had left in the lane and on the snowbank in front of the cabin door when I arrived last night. -- I have escaped to the the *big* city again! Well, really I am on the edge of the farm fields and the forest, the lake within sight. The "normal" sounds include the springtime birds, neighborhood dogs, and the wind through the trees - one of the first things I noticed as I walked towards the cabin from the bus stop and down the muddy dirt road that seems to shorten with every passing year.

I opened the door of the cabin to a familiar smell and a silent warmth. This is my little holiday. I suppose I could have booked a flight somewhere, been a tourist or something, but something about the Easter holiday makes me want to go "home", someplace quiet and calm, someplace that feels like an embrace, where thoughts of upcoming projects, proposals and grants take second place. I have travels and visitors in the near future, so some "me time" in the countryside is probably a good thing.

Last evening was quiet. I built a fire in the fireplace and curled up on the couch with some articles (I got a little "guest reviewer" assignment and some other random reading) and the newspaper. Sure, it's "work", but it's something I would read anyway... Not to worry, my knitting project is within arm's reach, as are some books... I stood outside for awhile last night and marveled at the stars, the coolish, but not cold, breeze and the sounds echoing through the forest. Today I walked across the fields on what is left of the snowbanks that held my every step. I wandered across fields and through parts of the forest I have not seen since I was a child...

**The spring time is time for renewal. The rains begin to wash away the dust, the daylight steals time from the darkness and little by little things seem to be looking up (yay!). This Easter holiday comes at a perfect time... a time when people can step back, take a breath, and find that "det kommer att ordna sig" (things will work out). My "future" for the next 6 to 12 months is a bit more certain now. I have some details to figure out, but what seems like a win-win situation on my hands (options) with no need (or desire) for a drastic change of location or direction. The idea of changing direction and location had been presented to me by a few "outsiders" but in many ways I'm not done here yet.

***I tried again. The muscle biopsy trauma will not get the best of me. I approached the procedure on my own terms this time (Monday morning). I ignored previous comments from the doctor and focused on the procedure alone.... and was OK. I did not feel "fantastic" after observation #2, but I felt better, more comfortable, and like there is a little hope for future participation! It is probably best that we re-arranged the team though... I'm probably the best person for the responsibilities that I was given in re-arrangement (keeping things on schedule and caring about people...).

****Still working on getting submitted and published... ooooh so close!

Is it the weather?

2009-04-05T13:37:00.001+03:00

It is a rough time of year for a lot of folks. I cannot pinpoint exactly what causes it though... is it the weather? the time change cutting out an hour of sleep? summer being close, but still so far (we still have snow here)? is it just that time in the academic calendar when there seems to be more deadlines or demands than usual?.... There are certainly fewer smiles and more grimaces and tears than usual right now, and no one seems to be entirely immune to it.

My usually sunny disposition got clouded this week... As part of my current project I was supposed to assist our doctor in taking muscle biopsies. It is REALLY interesting and I was REALLY excited to see how this all works, but I hate needles, cannot watch when I am getting a vaccination, and only in recent months have been able to watch blood samples being taken from the anticubital space on the arm (finger samples are a piece of cake!). I, of course, told the research team of me "history with needles", but we all laughed it off. To get over my discomfort, I watched the procedure on youtube, discussed it with colleagues in the project and figured that I would be ok.

After lunch on Wednesday I went to conquer my (irrational) fear of large needles head-on by watching a muscle biposy in another department. I figured since I don't have a problem with the dissection I did in biology classes (it was fascinating!), or the cadaver we looked at in anatomy and physiology in college (that puts one's respect for medicine, science, and the human body in a totally different light - AMAZING), and blood does not bother me, that I would be fine. The stress-response my body put up while watching 10-gauge needle take a small muscle sample from the vastus lateralis of a volunteer subject was, however...errr... stressful. Mid-biopsy I had to take a short walk because I knew I wouldn't make it standing where I was, and I was apparently sheet-white (kind of impressive considering I am already pretty pasty after a Finnish winter). I returned to look at the samples and to see how they are prepped for analysis (no issues with that) and then I returned to my desk. The rest of the day, my heart rate was high, my hands were shaking, I slept horribly... On Thursday I tried to convince myself that in two weeks I could assist in the procedure because I REALLY want to, but Friday when we did a "dry run" and I had a similar "stress/fear response" needle in hand, I had to admit that at least in the beginning, as much as I want to, I cannot do it. I am a "find a way" type of person and not a "can't" person.. but this is just one of those things that despite my very best efforts, I simply cannot control it and it bothers me A LOT (and I am still making an effort to get used to it because it is a procedure that will more than likely be incorporated into future studies because it yields lots of important information about adaptation mechanisms in the muscle....).

Immediately after the "dry run" I met with my advisor about my article and clearly was not behaving like myself (there is that cloudiness)... When I have meetings and get constructive comments, I respond positively, I can smile, I make suggestions... I was doing none of that and my advisor had the good sense to call me out on it (and I was able to speak out my frustration with myself). The article is getting really close to submission, my other measurements/reading/one lecture - all going well, but I am upset that I have not found a way to do the biopsies the way it was originally planned.... Fortunately we can do some non-disruptive re-arrangement within the research team and everything will work out (I will keep things running on time and "take care" of subjects)... but I still want to be able to assist the doctor!

Still moving forward anyway, and learning some pretty important non-sports science related things from sport-science experts. Good people.

*This knee issue may not be IT band syndrome... it may be that my piriformis is tight and pulling things out of whack... or everything on the lateral part of my left leg is just having issues.... but the issue seems to be going away, so whatever it is/was I hope it just stays away.

*Enjoyed mass karjalan piirakka making with some friends yesterday which was followed by some excellent and flavorful food at a friend's housewarming party...

*Trying to think of new and exciting things to do with lentils and black beans (though not necessarily together!).

"Summertime"

2009-03-29T17:35:00.007+03:00

We sprung forward an hour, so summertime is here, but not really... This morning we had a decent layer of snow on the ground - which has now mostly melted - and I am pondering buying a pair of rain-boots because that whole "April showers" bit is not far away (red boots? yellow? blue? or plain old black?)

A few pictures today:
Beans from the Hearty MN soup mix I brought with me from the other side of the pond... too bad the soup itself is not so colorful because cooked beans turn to mush.... it was tasty though!

Somewhere in the woods, before sinking into hip-deep drifts, crawling on top of it and sinking anyway:

Sunny day for a walk in the country last week:

-Should be getting some feedback from the co-authors this week and hoping to submit that article soon.
-It looks like I might be seeing muscle biopsies earlier than I thought I might (minor eek.)!
-Seems I got my IT band syndrome back.... ick.
-Must go find my compass...

A title because I need one

2009-03-23T08:56:00.007+02:00

Another busy week went by and a new one has begun. This week looks to be busier than the last, and I might actually have something to show for it in the end... I hope.

A few random notes from last week -
- St. Urho's Day "festivities" were limited to a glass of Minnesota Port (from Hastings) and reading NYT, BBC and blogs online. The St. Urho's fan base here in Finland is virtually non-existent, so I had to go the "celebration" alone. St. Patrick's Day was another story... again, not a huge fan base here, but every self-respecting Irish Pub in the world has something going on, so after work, and taking care of some things at home, I jumped on my bike to join some friends at the local Irish Pub for live music (and a tiny glass of Guinness)... the trip was a little more exciting than usual. I turned the corner a block away from the pub to find a small aircraft between the buildings....which was accompanied by lots of people, police and vehicles including a large crane (hmmm.. not typical nighttime activity in this city...). My first though was 'emergency landing?!' but upon closer inspection figured out that the plane was not in flying condition... some time later, after more observation and a flier (no pun intended) that was handed to me, I found out that this airplane (which was subsequently hoisted over one of the buildings and into the square) is part of an exhibition on flight in the city museums.

- I skipped out of work early on Friday (since I stay late and work on some Saturdays, I figure this shouldn't be a problem) and headed to the countryside with some friends. I slept until the sun woke me up (around 6.30 or 7), made breakfast, drank coffee and read by morning (about muscle signaling and world news for the most part); got some fresh air and worked on a little project I concocted for myself by day; went to sauna and ate too much by night... Like always, it was rejuvenating - the crisp air, the quiet forests, bright snow and space to move, think, breathe... I wish I could have stayed a few more days!

This week-
- I got comments from another Prof (SIP) on my article... Ouch! It was constructive criticism for the most part (interspersed with a few unnecessary comments), has to do primarily with structure, not content, and it will make the article better, but wow... SIP's got a lot of good advice, but I have a totally different (not so jolly) feeling walking out of his office than when I walk out of my advisor/PI 's office. Of course I have known my advisor longer, but every time (even at the start) I walk out of his office with a new challenge or revisions, I have a well constructed fire lit under my behind. This doesn't mean that I know how the fire will burn, or that it will be the perfect fire, but the fire is lit. It's burning AND I know that if I need a little extra fuel, I'll get it 95% of the time. I don't always agree 100% with my advisor (naturally, we build our fires with different materials sometimes), but there is mutual respect and belief that challenging tasks can be undertaken -- that I as a student, and my peers, have got enough grey matter between our ears to figure things out and accomplish something. For me, it's a great environment to work in. I feel like we are moving forward, even if sometimes it happens at a snail's pace, and when I leave that office, or those seminars, I feel that I can "be someone". After SIP's comments I wasn't exactly inspired, I wasn't demoralized by any stroke of the imagination but I certainly wasn't fired up. Maybe I confused him? Perhaps it is strange that I thank my Profs every time I get constructive criticism and good comments (good doesn't necessarily mean positive) on my work. Maybe it is surprising that I don't take constructive criticism personally (unnecessary comments = possibly, personal attacks = most certainly)... When I saw SIP on the way out of work, he seemed surprised to find I was not disheartened by the overabundance of red-ink on my paper. Yes, I have my work cut-out for me (LOTS of red, but there's repetition, "thought scribbles" and underlining), but whining isn't going to make my article any better and getting upset about his red-ink ways isn't going to get me published any faster. I just wonder why he seemed to "expect" me to be demoralized... you're going to have to do a lot more than tell me you hate my acronyms, that I should re-structure my discussion and that I should re-do a figure to demoralize me.

-JYU Talks - My friend is organizing/has organized an event at the Uni that basically calls upon students to discuss "problems worth solving". How's that for a massive topic?

The event is aimed at bringing together our community of students to talk about problems/issues and how we, the "next generation" are going deal with them. As youngish university students, we have resources and ideas that did not exist just 20 years ago, and as one speaker said tonight at the event opening, "YOU have the weight of the world on your shoulders too". Daunting, eh?

Some might wonder: What problems?
The answer: Open your eyes. Look around. There are lots of problems worth solving. There are problems that exist both globally and locally and there is lots of good that can be further developed/expanded.

The question: How do we solve these problems (or develop the good for that matter)? (ooooh the BIG question).
My drop in the bucket answer: One step/piece at a time. With our own skills and passions. By cooperation. By ignoring that pesky little phrase "I can't". (I had a coach that hated the phrase "I can't". He'd ask "What do you mean you can't?! You didn't even try!!!" Even "I'll try" was a tricky phrase with him... "I can" or "I will" worked much better... hmmm...)